Wow Lose Them Both...:( Options

[stephaniemag]

Yesterday my cat passed away. She was my best friend, well only friend, for the last 10 years, I am a mess, she got a disease from a tick. She was anorexic and going blind and had an ear infection. i brought her to the vet and they gave me medications for her and the next day she was having trouble breathing, it got worse in the car while i was rushing her to the vet the next day she was dying, she was looking up at me crying and gasping like asking me to help her and shes scared, I can't get over this and its ripping me apart, she was so special to me, she did the cutest funniest things, I cant believe shes not there when i look at where she used to sleep. I hate coming home now. I still smell her and wonder if there was more i could have done to help her.
I try to think about good memories but all I see is her gasping for breath,
do you think she was scared??

now 15 minutes ago, my hamster, the only other pet ive had just died of old age. I had him for years as well.
Both at the same time within barely 24 hours is unbearable. I feel alone, guilty, like I hate myself.
I cant believe this is happening all of it piling on like this.

I feel like I should have pet my cat more then i did, and given her a better life then i did. Her last days I was shoving pills down her throat, stressing her out, thats how she spent her last days and I feel horrible.

how do I cope?

[DannysMom]

Stephanie, I am sorry for the loss of your little cat and hamster. A double loss is indeed very hard. My heart goes out to you. Knowing from my own experience it is hard to get their last moments out of one's mind. When my Danny boy died last December I was so traumatized at seeing him dead that I couldn't get it out of my mind for weeks. It is really hard. Your little cat could have had a heart attack. It is hard to say, but I don't think you did anything wrong. Under the circumstances and with the knowledge that you had you did the best that you could.