Wow Lose Them Both...:( Options

[stephaniemag]

Yesterday my cat passed away. She was my best friend, well only friend, for the last 10 years, I am a mess, she got a disease from a tick. She was anorexic and going blind and had an ear infection. i brought her to the vet and they gave me medications for her and the next day she was having trouble breathing, it got worse in the car while i was rushing her to the vet the next day she was dying, she was looking up at me crying and gasping like asking me to help her and shes scared, I can't get over this and its ripping me apart, she was so special to me, she did the cutest funniest things, I cant believe shes not there when i look at where she used to sleep. I hate coming home now. I still smell her and wonder if there was more i could have done to help her.
I try to think about good memories but all I see is her gasping for breath,
do you think she was scared??

now 15 minutes ago, my hamster, the only other pet ive had just died of old age. I had him for years as well.
Both at the same time within barely 24 hours is unbearable. I feel alone, guilty, like I hate myself.
I cant believe this is happening all of it piling on like this.

I feel like I should have pet my cat more then i did, and given her a better life then i did. Her last days I was shoving pills down her throat, stressing her out, thats how she spent her last days and I feel horrible.

how do I cope?

[moon_beam]

Hi, stephanie, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved cat and hamster. Losing companions is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing two companions within hours of each other intensifies the grief.

Stephanie, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time and make us feel like we are literally going insane. Please let me try to reassure you that the deep grief you are feeling is very normal - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Unfortunately there is no easy way through this grief journey. There are no fast forward or delete buttons you can press to speed up the process or make it instantaneously disappear. The only way through this grief journey is one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. But please let me also reassure you that you are NOT alone in your journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. You are among friends here, stephanie - - there are no judgments made here.

You ask if your cat was frightened with what was happening to her in her last moments transitioning home to the angels. I truly believe that while the physical body can appear to be in distress there is a quiet peace that overtakes the Spirit to take away all fear. Your cat had your loving presence with her as well, and I know this was comforting to her as she transitioned home to the angels. Do I have proof of this? To a certain extent yes with my volunteer work with hospice patients. As the moment of release from the physical body draws closer there is an unexplainable presence of peace that comes even though the physical body may be in physical pain. Once the person's Spirit is finally free of the physical body, the body then relaxes and many times there is a smile on the person's face for their Spirit - - the part of them that makes them who they are - - is now in eternal peace. I believe this happens with our companions as well, Stephanie, for I have seen it with my companions.

This, however, does not diminish the painful memories the caregivers must learn to cope with from the trauma of losing a companion. Clinical studies show that our brain records events that happen - - some events are pleasant, some events are pushed to the "dusty files", and some events that are traumatic in our lives are kept to the forefront where they are played over and over like a continuous movie. The more traumatic the event the more the "movie" is replayed. It is normal for you to be remembering her last moments with you for this is the time when your physical bond between you and your beloved cat were separated, and this is a very traumatic event. I promise you, Stephanie, that in time the memory of this moment will ease so that you will be able to remember all the wonderful memories you and your beloved cat share. For even though she is no longer physically with you, I promise you her sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as she always has and always will. She is always a part of you, stephanie, for the love bond you and your beloved cat share is eternal. She is always and forever in your heart and your memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you. And the same is true for your beloved hamster.

I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss you are feeling. I can only hope and pray that the words I share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement and hope as you travel your grief journey.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved cat and hamster with us, stephanie. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of them with us -- but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, stephanie, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam