Please Help Me Options

[MUPPIESMOMMY]

I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF ADVICE.I AM SO UPSET THAT I DONT THINK I CAN LIVE WITH THIS.MY NAME IS SAMANTHA.I AM 42 YRS OLD.THREE WEEKS AGO MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER.I WANT TO GO BACK THREE WEEKS AGO GOD PLEASE SO I CAN SAVE MY DOG.I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IN WORDS THE DEEP
HORRIABLE PAIN THAT NEVER LEAVES ME NOT FOR A MINUTE OR EVEN A SECOND.THE PAIN THAT I CANNOT ESCAPE FROM EVER SINCE THE DAY MY 2 YR OLD PITBULL MUPPIE LOST
HIS LIFE.I WENT TO JAIL BECAUSE OF SOME UNPAID TICKETS.THAT JAIL STAY COST MY MUPPIE HIS LIFE, WHILE I WAS IN JAIL SOMEONE CALLED THE POUND AND THEY CAME AND
TOOK MY BABY AND 5 DAYS LATER HE WAS DEAD.I FEEL LIKE MY CHILD WAS MURDERED.GOD HELP ME I CANNOT STAND THE GUILT I CANNOT ACCEPT THAT HE IS GONE.I WANT TO
SCREAM UNTIL THE PAIN IS GONE.I CANT CLOSE MY EYES BECAUSE ALL I SEE IS HIS LITTLE FACE.THE NOT KNOWING WHAT HE WENT THRU THE LAST 5 DAYS OF HIS LIFE IS KILLING ME,I KNOW HE WAS SCARED AND CONFUSED AND I KNOW HE WAITED FOR HIS MOMMY TO COME GET HIM BUT I NEVER CAME AND THEN THE DAY HE WAS MURDERED WHAT WAS
GOING THRU HIS HEAD?DID HE KNOW THAT THEY WERE GOING TO KILL HIM?HE MUST HAVE BEEN FRANTIC TO GET AWAY AND GO HOME BUT HE COULDNT.I CANT LIVE WITH THIS
GUILT.I WANT MY BOY TO COME HOME AND SLEEP WITH ME LIKE HE DID EVERY NITE OF HIS LIFE.GOD HELP ME THIS PAIN IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.I CANNOT ACCEPT THAT HE IS
GONE. THIS CANT BE HAPPENING.WHY WOULD THEY KILL HIM?DIDNT THEY KNOW HOW VERY MUCH HE WAS LOVED?AND I CANNOT STAND TO BE AWAKE THE REALITY THAT I WILL NEVER
AGAIN SEE MY BABY BOY IS KILLING ME.I MISS MY DOG.I AM SO SORRY MY BABY BOY MOMMIE IS SO SORRY .I MISS YOU SO MUCH.I AM SO SORRY THAT THEY HURT YOU.YOU WERE
SUCH A GOOD BOY.I AM JUST SO SORRY.I WAS ALWAYS SO CAREFUL WITH MUPPIE ALWAYS KEPT HIM SAFE BUT IN THE END WHEN IT REALLY MATTERED I COULDNT SAVE HIM.I KNOW HE WONDERED WHY I DIDNT COME GET HIM.PLEASE GOD I HOPE HE IS OKAY NOW.I AM SO SAD..I WANT TO GO BACK SO I CAN SAVE HIM.I CANT EVEN GO HOME CAUSE IT REMINDS
ME OF HIM.HIS TOYS AND EVERYTHING WERE STILL IN THE SAME PLACE THEY WERE WHEN I WENT TO JAIL.I HOPE HE KNEW HOW VERY MUCH I LOVE HIM AND MISS HIM.I WANT TO
SHARE MY CEREAL WITH HIM LIKE WE DID EVERY MORNING.I CANT STAND THIS PAIN.MY DOG CANNOT BE DEAD.

[Gretta's Mom]

Dear Muppie's mom

Someone in a post above here said it perfectly: there has never been a loved animal who knew anything about blame, anger, rejecting others ... Loved animals like you Muppie only know about the loving, kind things of this universe.

OMG - how I remember the dayss right after I lost my Gretta llast year - bleeding to deeath from the heart - shot in the heart constantly by high-powered rifles of sadness and grief and anger and guilt.

Be assured of four things, though
1. Your Muppie LIVES and one day you will join her in the perfect World.
2. There are no "should's" - grieve in your own way at your own time. I, too, left Gretta's bowls and toys and clothes right where they were and they're still there 14 months later. In fact the first week I was so crushed that in order to feel closer to her I slept in her big orthopedic bed. (I'm a solo so I can get away with more extreme behavior than those who live with others..)
3. Muppie felt and feels you huge, curing, reassuring love every minute of her life - which started when time began and will continue until time ends.
4. We're always here. We hear your screams for help and every one of us would mke that searing pain go away if we could. Only time - a LOT of time- will do that. Meanwhile your only "job" is to breathe, take a little nourishment and get a little rest. And these are plenty hard enough assignments! Muppie is sending down rays of love on you and someday soon you will see or hear or feel a tiny, tiny, oh so tiny signal of her continued presence right by your side.

Don't give up, Muppie's mom. It's only because you loved Muppie so much that you're hurting so much now. Here's some love and strength for you to use to get through your day. I'll check back tonight.

Blessings to you and Muppie

Gretta's mom