Alone With My Thoughts, Death of my best friend Options

[asorryone]

I lost my bestfriend and family member 6 year old Tyson to a tumor two weeks ago. She had been vommitting for 10days previous and we had left her into the vets for an x-ray. We did not entertain the thought that we might lose her - but the vet then called with the news that she had a tumor in her gut the size of an orange and nothing could be done to save her. We buried her alongside the deceased dogs of a family friend. Unfortunately I was not there for the burial or to take her home as I am in College which is an hours drive from my home and so I got the news via telephone and could not come home for a few days.

I miss her physical presence so much! Everything from the jingle of her collar to the noise of her sprinting up the stairs. Her hairs still lie on some of my clothing. Her bed and toys lie untouched in the shed. There is a void within me i feel can never be filled. To think she is no longer of this earth terrifies me.

My family loved Tyson as much as I did and so they understand what I am feeling and I can talk to them. However, they seem to cope better with it all than me. My father has been diagnosed with heart failure 5 years ago and since has retired. Since my mother works and myself and my sister are in College my father is alone each day and Tyson offered companionship, regular exercise, love, loyalty, safety and of course entertainment. She was a very special dog, she knew our family inside-out and it was as though she was especially tailored to us.

Losing her has provoked deep thoughts for me - thoughts of death, loss, the afterlife, being alone...I feel as though im exceptionally vunerable/sensative. Since we lost Tyson I cannot stop crying and I am overwhelmed with thoughts of losing my father due to his heart failure. I think about God and the afterlife. My faith isnt strong, I want to believe in God, I want to be certain that I will be reunited with my loved ones in the afterlife never to be parted again - but mordern secular society bombards me with messages of disbelief. None of my friends of family members understand this state of reflection that has struck me. I am turning 20 and studying Law in College. On weekdays I live away from home and due to these recent events i feel exceptionally home sick. I am so scared of losing my parents that i want to spend every minute with them. I have no interest in going out to clubs, bars..i have even lost motiviation to do my essays/go to class. I am stuck in this depressive, reflective state.

I joined this website after reading some posts similar to my situation and have been touched by compassionate responses by people who seem to be like me - a love of animals, of all life..people who has compassionate, loving and reflective. I just hope for conversation with people who can maybe shed light on my current state. i appreciate any helpful, friendly comments. I feel lost and unsure. I have lost a companion, a stable loving soul in this unstable world. Ive even asked myself - what is the point in living, if we live to see our loved ones die?

[DannysMom]

Hello asorryone, please allow me to express to you my sincere sympathies on the loss of your dog Tyson. I am very sorry that you lost her at such a young age and so unexpected. It must have been difficult for you not to have been there for her burial, but it is a good thing that she was buried at a friend's place so that you can always visit her graveside. When our furry companions die it does really shake our world and we feel so lost and wonder if we'll see them again. Asorryone, I do believe there is a God and that there is an afterlife. God did not create anything temporal, including the animals. It would be such an act of cruelty for a loving God to create these beautiful creatures who give us so much love only to have them vanish forever after their death. It makes no sense, and there is evidence in the Bible that these beautiful creatures do have souls and that their souls live on. See Job 12:10 "In whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind." See also Revelation 5:13 "Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!"

Every creature includes the animals. In the initial creation all animals and humans were vegetarians, and so it shall be again one day, and the curse shall be lifted. Asorryone, I hope that this will give you a small measure of comfort. The grief journey is erratic and sometimes we take two steps backward before we take another step forward. Tyson was a very special dog, and she was deeply loved. Take time to grieve her death and to remember her.

Hugs,
DannysMom