Is This Just Me? Options

[Nicky709]

As you know, from my previous posting, my baby went to the Bridge last Sunday, after suffering kidney failure, I've just found out from the vet that she was in the final stages, I never knew anything was wrong with her until last week. The week prior to the actual event I was so upset, crying, hugging her constantly, wishing and bargaining....this week has been worse, but in a different way.

More than anything else I'm always expecting Cindy to make a run fpr the front door, I keep thinking she's there in her old places, then falling over when I go to step over her!!!!! But through it all I'm just numb, I've cried when I've read what people have written on this site, because I miss Cindy so much, but most of the time I wander around numb, both in work and at home. I look at her pictures and my heart misses a beat, and I feel even worse, with guilt, because I'm not crying as much as Cindy deserves, and because I'm so numb. I miss my baby so much, the feel of her, the sound of her, everything, but I cann't get beyond this awful numbness (((

I lost my first baby, Kim, about three years ago, and I'm starting to feel guilty because I grieved, as in cried, more for her than I did for Cindy.

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[luvmycatzz]

Nicky,

You are very welcome. Gwendolyn was my child too. I had her before I met my husband as well and since we are not able to have children, Gwen and my other 3 cats, Penelope, Sabrina and Osama Bin Fluffy (the terrorist cat) are my children.

If you would like to email just to chat, ramble on or just plain get it off your chest, feel free to do that. Not everyone understands you when you lose a pet. To many it's "just and animal" but for people like us it's more than that. Kim and Cindy know how you felt about them, how you still feel about them so try not to feel guilty for crying over one more than the other. It doesn't mean you miss one over the other, or that you loved Kim more than Cindy. It just means that maybe there were other things going on in your life at the time Kim passed away that may have triggered a more instense feeling. As I said in my previous post, we form different relationships with each pet therefore we grieve differently for those pets, but the love is always the same. Love isn't measured by the amount of tears you shed - remember that.

Take care Nicky and I hope to hear from you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs
Elizabeth