Is This Just Me? Options

[Nicky709]

As you know, from my previous posting, my baby went to the Bridge last Sunday, after suffering kidney failure, I've just found out from the vet that she was in the final stages, I never knew anything was wrong with her until last week. The week prior to the actual event I was so upset, crying, hugging her constantly, wishing and bargaining....this week has been worse, but in a different way.

More than anything else I'm always expecting Cindy to make a run fpr the front door, I keep thinking she's there in her old places, then falling over when I go to step over her!!!!! But through it all I'm just numb, I've cried when I've read what people have written on this site, because I miss Cindy so much, but most of the time I wander around numb, both in work and at home. I look at her pictures and my heart misses a beat, and I feel even worse, with guilt, because I'm not crying as much as Cindy deserves, and because I'm so numb. I miss my baby so much, the feel of her, the sound of her, everything, but I cann't get beyond this awful numbness (((

I lost my first baby, Kim, about three years ago, and I'm starting to feel guilty because I grieved, as in cried, more for her than I did for Cindy.

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