Lost Our Cat Last Month, Sleeping Issues Options

[Sibby]

Hello to you all. I'm glad there's a forum to talk to people when it regards losing an animal. I'm not sure how many come on here, or if I'll get a reply, but I need to write this down somewhere.

We lost our cat Tobi on September 16. She was 12-years-old and a maine coon. We got her for my 10th birthday down at a mill. We started to see her limp on her left hind leg in mid-July. We took her to the vets and had to checked out. We thought her limping was due to my mom stepping on her shortly before, but we later found out she had severe spinal arthritis and nerve damage in her leg. She was also given an antibiotic because the vet said she probably had an infection that caused her to urinate more. After nine days she started vomiting. We took her off of it. After that she progressively gotten worse.

She wouldn't eat on her own. She was losing weight. She wasn't walking on her own. Messing herself. Urinating on the carpets. We started syringe feeding her but she was still losing weight. We kept taking her to the doctors. He gave her the equivalent drug of gravol, appetite stimulant and nothing worked. She lost 25% body weight in about a month. We tried giving her morphine and other pain medicine but it didn't work. We found out she had renal insufficiency also. She was put on Convenia because she didn't finish the other antibiotics.

I knew on Wednesday, two days before she was put down, that she was dying. She wasn't walking on her own. Barely purring, not meowing. I knew she was in pain, so I made the decision and told my mom to phone the vets. We brought her up and she was put down between 3:30 and 4 p.m. She died in my arms.

For weeks I was determined we were going to get her back to health. Then I started seeing her deteriorate. A few weeks before her death I would cry profusely when I went to bed. When she died I didn't cry until a few days after, but it wasn't the same. I have no interest in food but I eat, because I have to. No interest in reading, but I do it out of habit. Music, shows and movies don't interest me. Nothing does. i haven't been the same. On Saturday, October 1, I couldn't get to bed until 6 a.m. Three nights after that I didn't sleep at all. I'm not meaning just a few hours of sleep. I'm meaning NO sleep. And when I couldn't sleep I got extremely angry. I wanted to hit my fist into something so I could feel. Either I feel extreme numbness or extreme grief.

on the fifth day I went to a walk-in-clinic to get some help. I was put on Ativan for 10 days. I have 5 1/2 pills left. He told me to try it for a few days then don't take one. I did that but I couldn't sleep. Last night I took a half of one and I didn't sleep all throughout the night. I'm worried I am become dependent on something just to get sleep. I've tried everything. No caffeine. Dark room, silent and cool. Don't eat heavy in the evening. And still I can't sleep on my own. I feel as if I want to put myself in a hospital. What are my options?

[BonniesMom]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear cat. It is very hard seeing a pet's health going downhill and then having to make the decision to let them pass on. I was in the very same position with my Yorkie in July and I sympathize very much with what you are going through.

Moon Beam has already given you wonderful advice and assured you that what you are going through is very normal in the grieving process and you are not losing your sanity. Grief takes a lot of forms but loss of sleep and/or sleep with bad dreams is very common after a loss, especially in the case of having been a caregiver to a pet or a person. I once went through bouts of sleepwalking after the passing of my mother because I had cared for her at home during her long illness and I would wake up in the night walking through the house, thinking I was going to her beside and that she had called for me. Also, after my 15-yr-old poodle died some years ago, I kept jumping out of bed during the night thinking I heard him whimper because on several occasions during his last year he had seizures during the night.

You were so good to your cat and so focused on fulfilling every need during the illness that you probably are still on alert and are unable to wind down. It is smart of you to be concerned about becoming dependent on a pill to sleep, so a further follow-up with your doctor or even a grief counselor might be recommended if you continue to have sleeping problems. Lack of sleep does take a toll on the body so you want to make sure you are keeping yourself in good physical health. I not employed in the health care field at all but I don't think it would be a bad idea to discuss the sleep issues with someone just to make sure you are keeping a good balance between not getting hooked on a pill but also you are not going without sleep to the point that your health is affected. I think over time this will probably improve on its own but if you have any doubt then checking with a health provider would not be a bad idea. Cold and flu season are coming on so you want your immune system to be good and strong.

I cannot tell if this is helping in my own situation yet, but I have started a new plan for my health which includes getting about an hour of activity a day such as walking or bicycling, eating healthier, taking my vitamins, and drinking more water. Some of this might or might not be helpful for you but your dear sweet cat will want you to stay in the best of health. And also, knowing that there are others here who understand what you are going through will help. Sometimes our friends and family are not as supportive as we would like, but everyone here has been so kind and understanding to me and I know they will be there for you too.

I am wishing you a good night's sleep and happier days ahead. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. All of us here care very much.