Grieving Over The Loss Of My Kitty Options

[wendyt]

Hello. I found this site yesterday looking for some help in dealing with the loss of my 2 year old kitty Clouseau. I was very impressed by the outpouring of support to those who have lost their beloved pets.

I adopted my sweet Clouseau as a kitten who had severe health issues. He was found in the woods abandoned by his mom and brought to the rescue group where I fell in love with him. It was hard to resist him - he was the sweetest and most loving kitten. Everyone at the vet loved him. He ended up needing surgery for a hiatal hernia - he was constantly throwing up and would not have survived without this surgery. He made it through surgery at only 4 months old. Twice a day he needed medicine until he was finally able to wean off it when he was one year old.

He was extremely attached to me and became aggressive to others - I'm still not sure why. But he was so devoted to me - if I was somewhere else in the house he would cry until he found me. He followed me everywhere and kept me company, greeting me when I came home by jumping up with his front paws on my leg. He slept with me, pawing at the covers to get under to curl up next to me with his head on the pillow. There are so many more things to say about him. He made me laugh, kept me from being lonely, was just so adorable. I felt so protective of him -- maybe because I nursed him to health and he was so attached to me.

I felt so much guilt this past week that I couldn't save him and that I didn't take him in sooner -- I didn't know. And so sad that he was in emergency with strangers -- he was so scared until I showed up. Now that he's gone, I still worry about him. I dreamt about him trying to find me and I worry that he's all alone. This house is so empty without him. I still have my other kitty Max, but it's not the same. And I worry about Max being alone now. My life for the last week has been at a stand still. I don't want to be at home because it's so hard, yet I don't want to leave Max alone for too long.

I am having a better day today, but I know the waves of overwhelming sadness will come back -- especially the more time I'm at home alone without him. I'm trying to deal with the guilt of not taking him in sooner. It's so hard when you feel like you've betrayed them.

Wendy

[leejaye]

Dear Wendy, Just adding my sympathies for your loss - when i lost my girl cat I had no idea about the range or strength of emotions that would sweep over me, I knew it would be hard, but not the nightmare this journey actually is, losing your baby so suddenly is so hard... Sending you some strength and a huge hug today Leejaye PS Please give Max his favourite pat for me