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> Grieving Over The Loss Of My Kitty
wendyt
post Sep 14 2011, 02:28 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 5
Joined: 13-September 11
Member No.: 7,268



Hello. I found this site yesterday looking for some help in dealing with the loss of my 2 year old kitty Clouseau. I was very impressed by the outpouring of support to those who have lost their beloved pets.

I adopted my sweet Clouseau as a kitten who had severe health issues. He was found in the woods abandoned by his mom and brought to the rescue group where I fell in love with him. It was hard to resist him - he was the sweetest and most loving kitten. Everyone at the vet loved him. He ended up needing surgery for a hiatal hernia - he was constantly throwing up and would not have survived without this surgery. He made it through surgery at only 4 months old. Twice a day he needed medicine until he was finally able to wean off it when he was one year old.

He was extremely attached to me and became aggressive to others - I'm still not sure why. But he was so devoted to me - if I was somewhere else in the house he would cry until he found me. He followed me everywhere and kept me company, greeting me when I came home by jumping up with his front paws on my leg. He slept with me, pawing at the covers to get under to curl up next to me with his head on the pillow. There are so many more things to say about him. He made me laugh, kept me from being lonely, was just so adorable. I felt so protective of him -- maybe because I nursed him to health and he was so attached to me.

I felt so much guilt this past week that I couldn't save him and that I didn't take him in sooner -- I didn't know. And so sad that he was in emergency with strangers -- he was so scared until I showed up. Now that he's gone, I still worry about him. I dreamt about him trying to find me and I worry that he's all alone. This house is so empty without him. I still have my other kitty Max, but it's not the same. And I worry about Max being alone now. My life for the last week has been at a stand still. I don't want to be at home because it's so hard, yet I don't want to leave Max alone for too long.

I am having a better day today, but I know the waves of overwhelming sadness will come back -- especially the more time I'm at home alone without him. I'm trying to deal with the guilt of not taking him in sooner. It's so hard when you feel like you've betrayed them.

Wendy
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BonniesMom
post Sep 14 2011, 03:35 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 75
Joined: 30-August 11
Member No.: 7,247



So sorry for the loss of your sweet kitty. All these feelings you have are normal. We all worry whether we took our pets in to the vet soon enough, whether there were signs that we missed, whether we made the right decision if we had to have them put to sleep. It can be really hard to deal with guilty feelings on top of grief. I'm sure, as much as you loved your dear pet, that you did everything possible. I can tell that you really cared and you tried very hard to provide all the medical care that was needed. He knows how much you loved him. He knows you would have saved him if you possibly could have.

Worrying about your other kitty being home alone is normal too but they seem to adjust quicker than we do. I had 2 female Yorkies from the same litter and lost one to kidney failure at the age of twelve in July. Now I really hate to leave the other one home alone for very long, so I understand what you mean, even though she doesn't really seem to mind. Your other kitty will probably adapt to the situation before long, especially with the extra love and attention.

Please accept my sympathy for your loss. I think we often become even more attached to pets that have special needs and that makes it even harder to let them go. But I can tell from your post that you were a wonderful cat mom and he knows that he was dearly loved.
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Posts in this topic
- wendyt   Grieving Over The Loss Of My Kitty   Sep 14 2011, 02:28 PM
- - BonniesMom   So sorry for the loss of your sweet kitty. All the...   Sep 14 2011, 03:35 PM
- - Bobbie   Dear Wendyt, Please accept my sincere condolences...   Sep 14 2011, 04:10 PM
- - moon_beam   Hi, wendy, please permit me to add my sincerest sy...   Sep 14 2011, 04:13 PM
- - leejaye   Dear Wendy, Just adding my sympathies for your los...   Sep 14 2011, 10:11 PM
- - wendyt   Thank you everyone for your kind words! It is ...   Sep 15 2011, 12:14 AM
- - leejaye   Dear Wendy, Thankyou for the photo - Clouseau is g...   Sep 15 2011, 12:32 AM
- - BonniesMom   What a beautiful face your little Clouseau had...   Sep 15 2011, 05:04 AM
- - Gretta's Mom   Dear Wendy Yes, little Clouseau IS (not "was...   Sep 15 2011, 07:00 AM
- - wendyt   Mornings are the worst. I've been sleeping in ...   Sep 15 2011, 12:49 PM
- - moon_beam   Hi, wendy, thank you so very much for sharing with...   Sep 15 2011, 01:32 PM
- - vickib   This is my first post. I found this site on Tuesda...   Sep 15 2011, 05:09 PM
- - wendyt   Tonight is hard - I managed to mostly bury my feel...   Sep 19 2011, 08:42 PM
- - magdalene   I so know how you feel. When my baby Eileen died,...   Sep 20 2011, 01:39 AM
- - leejaye   Dear Wendy, I am further along this grief road tha...   Sep 20 2011, 05:27 AM
- - vickib   hello.. it has been 7.5 days since i lost sparkie....   Sep 20 2011, 07:00 AM
- - vickib   My precious Sparkie   Sep 20 2011, 10:26 AM
- - vickib   wow i didn't realize that would be so big. Thi...   Sep 20 2011, 10:29 AM
|- - Petunia   Wendy - I'm so sorry about you sweet adorable ...   Sep 22 2011, 12:08 PM
- - wendyt   Thank you for your kind replies. I still ache so m...   Sep 22 2011, 07:33 PM
- - moon_beam   Hi, wendy, just being able to get caught up with h...   Sep 23 2011, 04:36 PM
- - vickib   Thanks Petunia and Wendy.. How are you? I am doi...   Sep 24 2011, 08:29 AM


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