I Lost My Beautiful Ginger Options

[cindyp]

I found this forum out of grief and disbelief of losing our beloved German Shepherd, Ginger. She was the happiest, prettiest soul I had ever met. She was the protector of our other 2 dogs and our children (especially our youngest son who is 8). I couldn't sleep at all because I didn't want to re-awaken to this nightmare. So I tossed and turned all night.

I realized a large problem I have is that I don't know what to think of. I am trying not to think of the last horrible few days when the disease viciously and mercilessly reared its ugly head. But when I think of her, I see how happy she was and how much she loved life. She danced at the waters edge of the lake which only had to be there to make her happy. She danced in circles just to see you walk in the door. She brought her toys to show so we would tell her how cute they were and she would deliberately walk under the table so the cloth would drape her head and we would all tell her what a pretty girl she was. And thinking of this makes me cry so hard I don't think I will ever stop. My children cry with me and I tell them it is okay to let it out. But I have to hide to cry more. Tonight will be unbearable to go to bed without her at our feet. My husband works away during the week and she made us feel safe. (She was a beautiful, sweet soul and made herself very scary when unknowns were outside or close by.)

So what should I think of to stop crying? My heart is broken and things will never be the same without her. I really want to know that she is happy where she is. I guess it hurts knowing how much she loved this earth and all of the sudden she is not here. She was too young to leave. That part hurts just as much as missing her. Please give me any suggestions of what I should be thinking of to stop crying. If anyone knows in their heart for some reason that our beloved animal family-members are happy once they've crossed over, please let me know. I just need comfort. Thank you and thank you for this forum.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Cindy, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Cindy, this grief journey is a process - - a journey where the deepest emotions of sorrow can only ease with time - - more time than what 3 days, 7 days, 30 days - - 6 months - - may take.

"I feel so horrible about not getting a blood test for her earlier. I can never forgive myself and I am afraid of that she is wondering why Mommy didn't help her sooner."

Cindy, I assure you that your beloved Ginger knows beyond all shadow of a doubt that you love her and would do everything within your human ability to give her a healthy and happy earthly journey. Your beloved Ginger is not wondering why you didn't help her sooner. Instead, she is eternally grateful to you for your eternal love for her. She does not want you shackled in deep grief and all the emotions that accompany this journey, for this will rob you of the joy of your cherished memories and the blessing of your Ginger's sweet Living Spirit in your heart. She will always be with you, Cindy.

Cindy, unfortunately guilt is one of the many emotions everyone goes through to some extent in this grief journey, and it can be one of the hardest to reconcile. Some people think that if they allow themselves to smile again, to remember their beloved companions with a happy heart, that they will forget their companion. Some people think that not feeling guilty somehow dishonors their beloved companion. I assure you, Cindy, that your beloved Ginger's first and foremost desire is for you to cherish her earthly journey with you. And I promise you that you will NEVER forget your beloved Ginger no matter how much time you continue in your earthly journey. It is impossible for you to forget your Ginger, for she is forever a part of you - - she is forever a heartbeat close to you. I hope and pray that as your grief eases you will be able to smile when you think of your beloved Ginger, and feel the warmth of her sweet Living Spirit tenderly embraced in your heart.

Cindy, in this early stage of your grief journey there are going to be more rough days to endure with all the horror roller coaster emotions that accompany it. We are here for you, Cindy, so hold on tight to us - - I promise you we will not let go until you are ready.

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, Cindy, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam