Rip My Sweet Baby Chessa Options

[nurse2b013]

Hello all. Unfortunately my posts were lost about my precious kitty when the system crashed, but I'm still really struggling with my grief so I wanted to post again.

My 8 year old Chessa was my cat, and my cat alone. She was soooo attached to me, and only me...as I was to her. She didn't have the time of day for anyone else, even my husband. She had cancer. I experienced some horrible anticipatory grief. My baby, who used to jump 4.5 feet onto the windowsill, could barely walk up and down the steps. When Chessa was healthy, she was constantly with me. I could barely even sit down before she would be in my lap, giving my hands "kitty kisses". In her last week or so on earth, she hid in the closet and hardly wanted anything to do with me. She only came out to eat her soft food and use the litter box. Every so often she would still come up to me, and I'd gently lay her on me and she'd purr and purr. How I miss those sounds, how I miss looking into her beautiful green eyes.

When Chessa no longer wanted to eat, I knew it was time. I spent her last night with her, sleeping on the floor with her, talking to her and stroking her paw . The same paw that the next day the vet used to end her pain on earth. I held Chessa's head as she left this world...mine was the last face she saw. I told her I loved her, and I hope she knew that...this was on 7/19/2011.

I took Chessa to a private crematory and have yet to pick up her remains. Maybe sometime this week...

I lost my best friend. Being in my house is agony now. I keep thinking I see her out of the corner of my eye. I cannot wash the shirt I used to last hold her in because it's covered in her cat hair. Even scooping out the litter box for the last time made me cry. (I have 2 other furbabies also) The first time I used the electric can opener to open tuna caused me to have a meltdown...I could hear her cries in my head along with my other two's actual cries. Seeing only two of them lapping up the tuna water broke my heart. I feel like my world will never be the same again. I miss her so much it hurts. I keep talking to her...I hope she can hear me...

[raerae777]

Hi Jodi,

I hope you are doing well after your surgery. I know what you mean about wanting Chessa there to jump on you even though it might have bothered you at the time. Cinder used to bust open my bedroom door when it stormed and lick my face till I woke up and comforted her. At the time, it was sometimes annoying, but every time it storms now, I wish she was here to do it. I think it is normal for us to feel that way.

Don't feel selfish about wanting to make yourself comfortable. Chessa would want you to be happy and comfortable and allow yourself to heal. I firmly believe that our pets never want to see us upset or crying, even if it's over them. All they ever want is to make us happy. She knows you haven't forgotten her and she knows you never will.

I know what you mean about it feeling like forever. Cinder will have been gone a month Thursday, but it seems like I have been without her for an eternity.

I hope you are feeling better today and have some comfort and peace while thinking of your sweet Chessa.

Much love.

Cinder's Mama