My Sweet Dixie Options

[Kristina]

I have started and deleted this post more times than I can count. Mostly because I don't know what to say or how to say it but I am going to try again because I am suffering big time.

Last Thursday 6/30 my husband and I had to put our 10 year old Black Labrador Dixie down. It all started the Friday before so please bear with me while I tell our story.

Friday morning I noticed she hadn't eaten all of her food which is unusual but did happen sometimes so I figured she would eat all of her dinner. She was a diabetic so along with getting insulin injections twice a day I monitored her food intake and her output like a hawk. Friday night rolls around and she wanted nothing to do with her food. This was highly unusual because she being a lab she loved her food. I figured her tummy might have been upset or something so I left the bowl out overnight to see if she would eat later.

Saturday morning I got up and went right to her food dish. Last nights food was still there untouched. So I got her a fresh serving and gave it to her. Not interested. At this point I was pretty concerned, so I got a can of food out and tried that instead of her dry/can mixture. Again she didn't want it so I left it until dinnertime. Same routine and the same not eating again. This time I cooked up some hamburger and rice and she ate that pretty good so I felt a bit better.

Sunday came and it was a battle again. She didn't want anything for breakfast or dinner. By this point I was a mess because I knew something was really wrong with her. My husband and I both stayed up all night Sunday with her waiting for her doctors office to open Monday morning. I was terrified that we were about to lose her. I called around 7:45 and spoke to one of the techs and asked if I could bring her in as soon as doc got there. They moved his first appointment back and I think they actually called him in early for us because we got there a little after 8:30 and he was already there when he usually doesn't get in til 9.

He ended up keeping her for the day to do a series of tests and xrays because her stomach was as hard as a rock. I called several times throughout the day to check on her and see if we could come get her and finally around 3 they said we could come back and get her and doc wanted to talk to us.

Her xrays showed a huge mass in her chest and abdomen. Her vertebrae in her spine had started to fuse together and all of her organs were being pushed out of their proper place by this huge mass. To this day we still aren't sure if it was cancerous or not because she didn't make it long enough for us to find out.

Anyway we were able to take her home but he warned us that she probably wouldn't make it much longer, maybe 6 months and that was really pushing it. So we got her home and she ate two bowls of chicken and rice and all seemed well.

The next day we took her outside and I noticed that her back legs were shaking very badly when she was going potty. She walked around for a bit then squatted to go #2 and about halfway through her going her legs just seemed to give out. She tried to make it back to the door to go inside but she just sort of laid down and didn't want to move. We got her up about 10 minutes later and she seemed ok for the rest of the day.

Pretty much the same thing happened on Wednesday day. Then Wednesday night I noticed she started breathing funny. Once again I was up with her all night and I just knew something bad was happening. Her eyes which always had a happy look to them looked very sad, and she didn't want to go outside at all.

My husband and I had to go Thursday morning to get our license plate renewed on our car and as we were driving back home I just got this feeling in my heart and gut that she was ready to go. We got home and she was still in the same condition that she was in 45 minutes ago when we had left.

I put a call in to her doc and we just sat around with her waiting for him to call back. He finally called around 11 and I told him what was going on. He said she probably was ready and if we felt it too we should probably bring her in. He told me to make the arrangements that I needed to make for her and call him back. (this all sounds harsh but in reality it wasn't. Her doc is the most compassionate vet I have ever known and we have a long history with him.)

My husband called the doggy funeral parlor to make arrangements for them to meet us, and I called doc back. He said to bring her in at 2. So we had a few hours left with her. We took her out and she didn't make it 10 steps before she just laid down. So the 3 of us sat outside for quite some time until it was time to leave.

We got to the office and were taken back right away. The woman that was going to take care of her afterwards came in to meet with us, and then it was time. We sat on the floor with her talking to her, telling her how much we loved her and what a great dog she had been. And how much we were going to miss her, that it was ok for her to let go and we would be fine.

It went exactly the way I had hoped. It was very peaceful and we got to be with her. Once doc checked her and told us she was gone they gave us all the time we needed with her, and I just laid on the floor with her crying into her fur and hugging her body.

Eventually my husband told them we were ready, they came in and got her and gave me her collar. I walked out with her and gave her last kisses, and then my girl was gone.

We got her cremains back less than 24 hours after we lost her and that was probably the biggest comfort. The people that took care of her were amazing, and so compassionate. I am devastated that we had to let our girl go but they made it a bit more bearable.

I am sorry this is so long but typing out the whole thing brings me some comfort. People say that she was lucky to have us, but in reality we were the lucky ones to have had her for 10 wonderful years. We are lucky that we had her to love and to have her unconditionally return that love to us. I miss her so much.

Thank you for reading. I am trying my hardest to get through this but the loss of our Dixie has almost crippled me.

Attached image(s)

 

[Kristina]

Hey everyone

I have had a bit of a setback in regards to my surgery. I was actually feeling pretty good and then yesterday I started having pain again, and it is still hurting today so we will see how the weekend goes. There was an 85% chance this surgery would work, and I am terrified that I am in the 15% bracket of it not working. My doctor said if it didn't work he would go in and do another surgery that should take care of it, but I really just am so over dealing with it.

So. A few days ago I was on petfinder and I saw this little chocolate girl near Savannah, Georgia. I fell in love. I waited a few days before contacting them about her though. I figured if I couldn't get her out of my mind then she was probably the one for me. I emailed them a little bit ago to get more information about her, the application process and to tell them a bit about us. So if things work out then we will get her. My in laws live in Atlanta, so traveling to Georgia isn't a huge issue for us. It is about an 11 hour drive from here to where she is at, but we would be able to stay at the in laws house. If we end up getting her I figured we would drive down one day, stay at in laws that night, drive 4 hours the next morning to get her, go back to in laws and stay again, and come back home the next day. I also have a friend that runs a labrador rescue about 2 hours in the other direction of my inlaws, and I would like to go visit her and see their facility. So maybe this is it. All I know is this little girl is amazing. Just from looking at pictures of her made me fall head over heels, and I haven't even met her yet! She was born in May according to her little bio, and she was found about a week ago all alone. She has mange which she is being treated for, so her coat looks kind of rough but I think she is beautiful. She also has worms so she has the fat worm tummy and she is incredibly skinny. There is just something about her though.

Still missing my Dixie. That won't ever change. Yesterday was 5 weeks. I can't believe it. When we get a new girl I am going to do a separate thread about her in the new beginnings section, as per the rules of this site we aren't supposed to create multiple threads on the same subject. Plus this is Dixie's thread in the pet loss section. The girl will be in the new beginnings section. I don't want a thread about both of them together. Plus there is no reason to create more than one thread, it just pushes everyone else's down and that is unfair.

So here is to hoping this little girl will work out. I think Dixie would be pleased. I hope everyone is doing well. Sending all my love to all of you.