My Heart Is Sick Options

[Erin]

That's what it feels like. Like it's diseased. I don't understand how everyone moves on after losing someone so special, knowing that they're never going to see them again. I see pictures of Zoe and I feel like I'm forgetting about her. I know I keep saying it but I can't explain it any other way. She feels so distant. I don't feel her anymore. I don't feel her in my heart.

[ChrisL]

Erin,

When we go through a painful or traumatic experience, such as the loss of someone we love very much, our nervous systems get overwhelmed with a flood of feelings. Over time, our brains adapt by desensitizing to those signals. It is our bodies' way of protecting us and allowing us to function, do what we need to take care of ourselves and survive. When we spend a lot of our time on the subject of our grief, we can make those signals more intense and our systems respond by desensitizing faster.

I think you will find, that as you move forward you will be able to feel Zoe, but in a more positive and less painful way, as your system readjusts and it becomes safe again. So maybe, for a while, you will be a little numb to her, but that does not mean your connection to her has been destroyed. If you are not thinking about her all the time, that is a healthy thing. It is kind of like, you don't spend all your time thinking about every word in the english language that you know, but when you need to use those words they are there. You became fluent in the language of Zoe in the time you had together, and even though she doesn't occupy your mind for every waking moment, she is still with you, and you will be able to "speak" her as you so desire.