Abbey My Beautiful Girl Options

[TAK]

Where to start....
It has been 5 days and 21 hours since Abbey has passed away. I feel so lost, like my heart was torn out of my chest, at some moments I can not breath. When her and I were together nothing else seemed to matter. We did everything together, whether it was bird watching or hanging out on the couch. Abbey could just look at me and I knew what she wanted, whether it was a walk or dinner. She was an exceptional girl, she brought the whole family together even in her dying hours the vets said it was a pleasure to of met her. I promised her that I would not let her suffer because that would of been for my benefit not hers. So I let her go. If I would of only presisted with the vet that something was wrong, my beautiful girl would be here.
I fell so alone with out Abbey even though we have Dollie, who is on the long term babysitting program, sadly and worried now, her owner could come back for her. Also Samatha, our cat who was adopted to keep Abbey company, which Abbey ended up babysitting over the years. Yes those two are owesome, loved dearly but without Abbey the world seems an extremely sad place.
I just do not know how to live without her, I cry myself to sleep and awake in tears. All I think about is her. My husband who has been very sad also, said to me the other day that he knew how much I loved Abbey, that is she would of needed a kidney I would not think twice. He is so right.
Now what.....
Theresa

[Gretta's Mom]

O Theresa

I am SO sorry about the passing of your darling Abbey. It is SUCH a shock - especially to those people who have loved and been lived by their special spirit animal. It feels like someone has just shot you in the heart and you're bleeding to death. This is the grief of the first days. My heart is with you and my thoughts and prayers are, too. My beautiful Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived on this earth) passed into the perfect world on April 10. How well I remember those first agonizing days. You're like a robot walking through life. Then the emptiness starts and the "what if's" and "if only's" and the "last time I did this she was alive."

But my vet, the most wonderful and capable man on earth, said it this way when he heared about my Gretta: "She's in a safe place now." And it's true. These special animals are our soul's mates. They are rare and they search for us all over the universe until they find us. Then they put themselves in our pathways so We will find them - and it's instant, deep love. Because they hold a piece of our soul and we hold a part of theirs. Love is forever, dear Theresa. It has no beginning and it surely has no end. Your Abbey has just changed form and the unfairness of it all is that for a while you can't see her or hear her or touch her. But she's just a breath away. I got a daily calndar once that had this quote on one day that said it all "A good dog never dies. He always stays and walks beside you on crisp automn days when frost is on the fields and winter's drawing near. His head is within your hand in his old way."

Abbey is a huge blessing to you and you are to her - still. One of the "jobs" of these special spirit animals is to teach us things. And one of the things they teach us, the one that hurts the most, is that we DO have enough love for them to let them pass out of this life of pain - and take all the pain on ourselves. One thing I did was to get the soft pillow that's sold on this site - pricey, but it's something to hold and hug and cry into during all the times that you need to. The first day Gretta wasn''t at home with me I velcroed two of her showsuits (it's cold her in MN) together and made a little pillow out of them so I could lay my head on it at night.

This agony does subside (I didn't believe it either) but not quickly. One day, not too long from now, you'll feel a tiny instant of relief (and the "poof" it'll be gone). That's Abbey sending some love your way. Gradually, very gradually, these moments come oftener. But I don't think you ever stop crying and missing them (I'm crying now as I write this).


Theresa, know that you are not alone, that you have come to the right place. And that was Abbey's doing, too. Imagine how many web sites there are in the ehter! Abbey sent you to this one, this special one, where every one of us has been chosen and found by our special animal. We love each other and hodl each other up in strength. We're here for you, Theresa - always and however often you needs us. Helping others who are just starting on this lonely road helps US even more.

Take care, my friend. Rest, cry, hug your other fur-babies and don't even try to "figure anything out" or, even worse, "get over it." Love is forever and, as one Lightning Strike friend put it, they're only a breath away. Curl up in that little ball and grieve. Tell Abbey how much you miss her (she knwos already but you're doing it for yourself). So people write to their invisible soul mate. Anything that helps you know, really KNOW, that Abbey is NOT "gone" - that sh'e watching over you and guiding you and loving you EXACTLY like she did when you could see her. ONly thing different is that she's in a safe and pain-free place now. You'll join her one day and you WILL be reunited. (as the young folks say: taht's my story and I'm stickin' to it!).

With care,

Gretta's mom