Filled With Despair Options

[laurenheck]

Hello Everybody,

I'm a 27 year old girl from Sydney, Australia and I'm crying as i'm writing this.

I had to have my beautiful 17 year old Maltese cross Pomeranian dog Daisy put down just over a week a go.

The vet advised she had inflammation of the brain and vestibular syndrome. She had also lost control of her bladder, and on the day we called the vet to our house to put her down, she couldn't walk and was crying and whimpering as if she was in pain. She went downhill very quickly over the space of a few weeks, so it all came as a bit of a shock.

I held her in my arms while the vet gave her the injections. It was not a very nice experience, as my poor little girl was terrified when the needle went in to the back of her neck to sedate her. She yelped extremely loudly, and tried to bite me. Although instantly she stopped trying to bite, and started licking me.

Daisy was my best friend, my love, a huuuuge part of my life. I haven't worked much in the past year, and have spent more time with Daisy than anyone else. We were "joined at the hip" as my Mum often commented. My heart is broken, and I just can't stop crying. The pain is getting worse with each day that passes, and the thought that I won't see her again is just unbearable.

I'm so upset I can't concentrate on anything, and to make matters worse I have many assignments due at University.

I find a lot of people don't understand what i'm going through, and think I should be over it already because she was "just a dog".

I try and focus on the fact that she had a long, wonderful life that was filled with love, and also that she's not in pain anymore. However, this doesn't take the pain of her absence away. I miss her terribly, and I'm just not coping. My house feels so lonely and cold without her. I just don't know how I'm going to get through life without her.

Lauren

[Gretta's Mom]

Dear Lauren

I'm so sorry for the passing of your dear Ms Daisy. It's one of the worst experiences in this life. And you're having to go through it at such a young age. Please accept my sincere condolences. I'm a little farther along the lonely road - I lost my Gretta girl (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) on April 10. Like you, for the first couple of weeks I was like a robot - a crying robot. Someone (I've forgotten who) wrote a post/thread called "I will cry." It's too heartbreaking for you to read right now, but in a week or so you might like to read it. Of course, you'll flood the world with tears, but it will express the shredded heart, I'm-just-an-empty-shell feelings we have at this time.

One thing I discovered in this group is that we're not typical people. We're people who have been visited by our spirit animals - those whose souls are the other half of our own. Aminal souls and human souls are all the same 'stuff.' just think - our one and only soul-animal search the universe over for THEIR one and only other-half soul. When, against impossible odds, they found us, they put themselves in our paths so we'd notice - really notice - them and in doing so fall instantly in love - because they are our other halves. Very few people have the miracle of living and loving their one-and-only animal. Thousands of times greated than our love for them is THEIR love for us. They've come to open our hearts, to guide us, to watch over us, to gently teach us some life lessons - just by being. Whoever made the universe made our animal-halves' time on this earth much shorter than ours. And that HURTS - more than anything else imaginable.

The first few weeks are one shock after another. All those "first times" and "last year at this time" and "if only's" - each one knocking us to our knees. We're called upon to ASK FOR soul burning agony by releasing them from their (as one LS friend put it) broken shells. In proportion as we love them and they love us, we will suffer unbearable pain when they go on before us to the perfect world.

Please don't feel bad about doing some things out of grief that other people, who have not had the joy of two souls uniting, might think strange. During the first two days after Gretta passed, I walked about 10 miles singing made-up words about her to old folk and country/western songs. I also took two of her snowsuits (which she hated) and velcroed them together to make a kind of pillow, which I slept with and cried into for many a night. Know that your Daisy is somewhere safe, warm, joyful and is watching over you the same as she did when you could see her and touch her. I know that my Gretta has found her and they are bragging about their respective mothers.

One thing you know for sure - that you are not alone. All of us here at Lightning Strike are with you - any time, all the time. It's like the old saying that alone each of us is a small twig - easily broken - but together we are strong and will endure.

Welcome to our family.

Gretta's mom