Filled With Despair Options

[laurenheck]

Hello Everybody,

I'm a 27 year old girl from Sydney, Australia and I'm crying as i'm writing this.

I had to have my beautiful 17 year old Maltese cross Pomeranian dog Daisy put down just over a week a go.

The vet advised she had inflammation of the brain and vestibular syndrome. She had also lost control of her bladder, and on the day we called the vet to our house to put her down, she couldn't walk and was crying and whimpering as if she was in pain. She went downhill very quickly over the space of a few weeks, so it all came as a bit of a shock.

I held her in my arms while the vet gave her the injections. It was not a very nice experience, as my poor little girl was terrified when the needle went in to the back of her neck to sedate her. She yelped extremely loudly, and tried to bite me. Although instantly she stopped trying to bite, and started licking me.

Daisy was my best friend, my love, a huuuuge part of my life. I haven't worked much in the past year, and have spent more time with Daisy than anyone else. We were "joined at the hip" as my Mum often commented. My heart is broken, and I just can't stop crying. The pain is getting worse with each day that passes, and the thought that I won't see her again is just unbearable.

I'm so upset I can't concentrate on anything, and to make matters worse I have many assignments due at University.

I find a lot of people don't understand what i'm going through, and think I should be over it already because she was "just a dog".

I try and focus on the fact that she had a long, wonderful life that was filled with love, and also that she's not in pain anymore. However, this doesn't take the pain of her absence away. I miss her terribly, and I'm just not coping. My house feels so lonely and cold without her. I just don't know how I'm going to get through life without her.

Lauren

[moon_beam]

Hi, Lauren, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Daisy. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our beloved companions - - at great sacrifice to ourselves - -so that they can once again be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Lauren, what you are feeling is perfectly normal. You are in deep grief, and this is very painful - - both physically and emotionally. When we embrace our beloved companions into our hearts and home our lives are changed for the better. When they precede us to the angels our lives change again. This time, however, we are blessed with their eternal love - - for love is not bound by the physical laws of time and space. We are blessed with their sweet Living Spirits in our hearts and memories, and they continue to share our earthly journey just as they always have and always will. But I know this does not heal the piercing pain in your heart, Lauren - - the piercing pain of not being able to hold your precious Daisy in your arms, of not being able to look deeply into her beautiful soulful eyes, of not being able to hear her voice and noises, of not being able to smell her fur. We live in a physical world based on the senses of sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Every time they kiss us, every time they rub up against us they are imprinting themselves onto us telling everyone that we belong to them. And the transference is also reveresed - - every time they kiss us, rub up against us, touch us they are taking a part of our "scent" on their physical bodies as well. This is one of the many reasons why it is so very painful for us - - both physically and emotionally - - when they precede us to the angels.

This grief journey is not one of "getting over" or "getting used to" or "moving on beyond" the physical absence of our beloved companions. It is one of ADJUSTMENT WITHOUT the PHYSICAL PRESENCE of our beloved companions, and it is an adjustment that can only be accomplished one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. This grief adjustment journey is often referred to as a horror roller coaster ride because we can find ourselves overwhelmed all at once with all the grief emotions.

Many people cannot - - and will not - - understand the deep bond that forms between us and our beloved companions. They give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely without reservation. With our beloved companions there is no fear of being rejected or having to live up to someone else's ideas of what we "should do" or "should be." So when someone who is totally clueless says, "It's only a . . .. " it is very, very painful.

I assure you, Lauren, that each of us here DO understand what you are going through and what you are feeling, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. There is no need to put on a "public face" here - - you are among friends here, Lauren - - always.

Lauren, thank you so much for sharing your precious Daisy with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to posting a picture of your precious Daisy with us - - if / when you wish to.

Lauren, I hope that what I have shared with you will bring some comfort to your heart. I know right now there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the piercing pain in your heart, but I assure you one day - - when you least expect it, you will find yourself thinking of your precious Daisy and find yourself smiling. This is what your precious Daisy wants for you, and your heart will be filled once again with joy.

Lauren, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam