Vincent, Went to Rainbow Bridge Options

[bebe]

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I just found out about this website from a friend. I lost my Cairn Terrier of 16.5 years in August. We had to put him to sleep. My husband and I were there with him when he drew his last breath and I haven't been the same since. The grief I have felt from this is awful. I thought I was getting better, so I decided to adopt two cairn puppies from Col Potter Rescue. The first mistake was two, the second was I was not ready for them. We got them on 12/4/04 and by that Monday, I was having a total emotional breakdown. I couldn't do it, I wasn't ready, so I informed them we would be returning one of the puppies and my son would adopt the other. I don't know if I will ever want another dog. My Vince was my baby. We spent everyday together. I got up with him in the middle of the night the last few months of his life, and sometimes I was a little short with him out of fear, that I knew the end was nearing and I didn't want to accept that. I still feel guilty for putting him to sleep. Maybe we should have explored more options, maybe it wasn't time, why did I do it and I want him back and then I remember the life was gone from him. No tail wagging, no glad to see us. I want him back and healthy and I know that is stupid and isn't going to happen and that I need to accept what had to be done. I do, but when will the hurt and pain go away and this awful feeling of despair. We had him cremated and he is sitting on the entertainment center with a picture and angel. I sleep with his pictures under my pillow. I miss him so much. Am I a little crazy here????

[Kathleen032]

Dear Bebe,

I'm so sorry you lost your little pal Vince. It sounds like you and Vince had 16.5 wonderful years. How lucky for both of you that you blessed each other's lives for that long!

You're not crazy at all. I lost Shiloh in September. I'm giving myself a year to grieve...I think that's natural for any lost family member. Shiloh was my pal, my companion...my best friend. I know exactly how you feel about wanting Vince back. I feel the same about Shiloh.

You've found a wonderful website for grieving your lost furbaby. Come here and share your thoughts, your sadnesses, etc. The folks here will comfort and embrace you.

My thoughts are with you.
Kathleen