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> Too Many Losses This Year, I'm Shattered
tosh
post May 22 2011, 10:49 AM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 4
Joined: 19-May 11
Member No.: 7,113



First time here, coping with the death of a loved friend again. Some may consider it crazy but I had four cats. Two at fourteen years old Sebastian and Tilley. We had since they were both tiny kittens. The other two we have had for seven years, a mother cat and kitten Mishka and Bindy, we rescued from a storm drain where they lived quite wild.

Last September three weeks before i was due to have my first child my beloved fourteen year old cat Sebastian went into kidney failure. I nursed him for almost two weeks until I had to take him to the vet to give him peace. Although with no time to grieve as my daughter was born soon after. I had had him since he was 3 weeks old and felt so close to him, he had the personality of a faithful dog. This March his fourteen year companion Tilley became ill very quickly. She was diagnosed with Feline Aids and Toxoplasmosis. Now with my six month old daughter and quite exhausted from a lack of sleep I cared for Tilley and made her comfortable at home. She slipt away quietly without pain after almost two weeks of feeding her all her favourite things and keeping her warm and peaceful.

The thing I have found about being a new mum is that no matter what happens your baby has to come first. Although by now my heart had been so crushed by the loss of my two old friends. Life had to continue and my daughter is now a beautiful lively and bubbly eight months old. She even has her own distinct baby word for cat.

Now the unthinkable has happened again. I am in shock and completely shattered. My beautiful brave and loving mother cat Mishka has been hit by a car this past weekend. Leaving her adult kitten crying continuously and spending her days searching for her mother. I am unable to deal with this loss as I did with my other two cats. I feel a constant tightness in my chest and cry at the drop of a hat. I think that there must be a limit of how much loss and grief I can cope with. It just seems so cruel, she was such a healthy beautiful and good natured creature. She had overcome such a harsh start to life as a wild cat raising her kittens in a drain. To become a most gentle and lovely house cat who truly apreciated the life she had with us.

I am not sure exactly how to help Bindy through this time of loss or even how long a cat grieves for. It hurts so much to hear her crying at night, I am finding myself staying up at night to comfort her just to help her to get some sleep. I have thought that she would need a companion eventually but I cant bring myself to think about another cat at this point. Bindy has been raised with her mother always close and the two other cats in the house. I'm not sure if she is able to adjust to being a single cat in the house. Although I'm not sure if I can go through this grief again.

In grief, Tosh
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moon_beam
post May 23 2011, 04:29 PM
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From: Virginia
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Hi, Tosh, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. "Being able to share my grief on this board is of great comfort to me. Knowing that you understand and have all been through this and are still going through this pain really helps me feel less alone in all of this."

Tosh, we are here for each other. Here in this forum we can share what is in our hearts, the deepest grief that consumes our hearts and has no place else to allow the pain to be expressed. Here in this form there is no need for a "public face", and there are no judgments. Here in this forum we are among friends. Even though we do not "know" each other through face to face introductions, we share the deepest friendship we can ever know through our beloved companions - - and when we meet each other at our appropriate times standing beside our beloved companions in heaven's perfect garden there will be no need for introductions - - for we will truly already know each other - - for our hearts have already met here in this wonderful forum.

Tosh, as you watch your precious daughter grow and your furchild Bindy reaches out to you for comfort and encouragement and reassurance that she is loved and safe, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam





--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Peggy's Human
post May 24 2011, 12:13 AM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 172
Joined: 13-March 11
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 7,037



Dear Tosh,

Please accept my deepest condolences on you losses over the past months. You poor little thing. sad.gif You've had a lot of major life events transpiring in a very short period of time. And please accept my heartfelt congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter! Tosh, it's no wonder you're in such a state. Anyone would be, just from all the losses you've had to endure in such a short period of time. Add on the hormonal changes from pregnancy and childbirth and for good measure, take away most of your sleep, which is normal during a child's first year, and you've got a person who's being pushed to their absolute limits. You've had to endure more loss than anyone should have to contend with in such a short period of time, you don't have the luxury of grieving becasue your main focus must be on your new daughter. It's a wonder you're able to stay pulled together at all and I give you all the credit in the world for doing so well.

I am sorry that you have not had the luxury to grieve for your losses and for having to release so many loved ones so quickly. I know your heart must be broken and I wish I could find words that would help ease your pain. If you don't mind a suggestion? Is it possible to have someone take your daughter for the weekend, or even just 1 night so you can catch up a little on your sleep and have the time to grieve a little, without having to feel guilty about taking a little time for yourself? I know from experience that sleep deprivation only makes things more difficult and the grief is even more overwhelming (if that's even possible).

Please know that you and your family (human and animal) are in my prayers. I hope the pain in your heart eases soon and I hope you are able to get a little time in which to allow the tears to fall and release some of your grief. Please know that we are here for you whenever you need a shoulder to lean or cry on or just someoen to listen and offer support.

Big hug to you and again, congratulations on the birth of your daughter!

Peggy (the human)
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