How Do You Know When It's Time? Options

[Bobbie]

My Trevor is slowly dying from a bunch of neurologic problems. Most of the time his pain is controlled by medication given every 3 hours. But then there are the nights that he and I are up for hours. Trevor is pacing, digging into the carpet, shaking his head and whimpering with pain. I give him many extra doses of pain medication, antihistamines and sedatives and then wait for them to "kick in". This can take up to another half-hour. He does not like to be touched at all during these episodes and, since he's almost deaf, he cannot hear soothing words. So I either sit or lie with him on the floor. When he does, finally, fall asleep, I cover him with his blanket and lie down beside him, covering his paw with my hand. That seems to be comforting to Trevor.
Trevor's neurologist says that Trevor will not die of the neuro problems. It will be a quality of life issue. Oh, great.
My problem is this: with each of my other ##er Spaniels, I knew exactly when it was time. This time I have no idea. I do NOT want Trevor to suffer, but there are times when he is doing just that. And yet, afternoons and evenings are decent times for him. And my heart just breaks when I think of him not being here (with me). Then I feel selfish, then I feel scared, etc. etc. etc.

Is there anyone who might be willing to share any advice they have?

I love Trevor with all my heart and soul. He is a 12 year old rescue dog that we've had to almost 2 years. He is such a good boy, even with all his "issues" and I want only the VERY BEST for him.
Thanks so much!
Trevor's very sad mom

[Bobbie]

Dear Peggy and Moon Beam,

Well, it had to come to an end didn't it? Trevor didn't have a very good night last night. The meds just didn't seem to "take" and Trevor had a pretty restless night. Finally, I just gave him a lttle bit of everything, sat up on the floor with him and he finally fell into a deep sleep. This morning, for the first time, Trevor leaked urine while sleeping. I knew right away because he was sleeping on the puppy pads. I'm hoping it was simply because he hadn't peed since 10 pm last night.

The rest of the day was fair. I had several things to do around the house and that kept Trevor awake more than usual - he follows me everywhere. He can't have me out of his sight. (good on my ego) Finally we lay down and Trevor went to sleep. And that's when I saw them - the dark color around the outside of Trevor's eyes. It makes Trevor look like he is so exhausted, so tired, in so much pain (which I don't think he is right now) that I just want to cry. And hold him tight and tell him I'll protect you and mommy will take care of you always. It just makes me so sad. I'm sure it's just pigmentation due to age, excess tear production or something like that. But it doesn't look that way to me. Help!

We did go outside for a few minutes right around sunset. It was still warm, but breezy and we stayed in the shade of a big maple tree. We no longer go for walks, we go for meanders. Trevor found some really good dandelions that had messages from several different dogs. He was happy, almost pushing his nose right into the ground. I thought he was going to roll, but he didn't. whew

Evening was a bit rough because our air conditioning duct system is really BAD and it's hot in the house. But eventually, Trevor relaxed on his blanket and fell asleep until it was time to come upstairs. Trevor is sleeping and I'm going to, also. Let's hope for a good night.

And a good night to you, also! Again, thank you for all you have given and done for me!

XOXOxo
Bobbie