Can't Escape The Guilt, What I didn't talk about before... Options

[Tom's Dad]

I know I have danced around this before, but my guilty concience demands that I come right out with it. As I had said I said some horrible things to Tom when he would have his more severe accidents (litterally ON me or in the bed, etc) On more than one occasion I had said 'why don't you just hurry up and die'. I regretted it immediately and know I did not mean it in my heart. But it was out there, and I KNOW he understood me from the deep hurt in his eyes. Another thing I swore I'd never do but did, was give him a time out in the pet taxi that his former owner had done as punishment exactly FOR that reason. Yes, they were fairly isolated incidents, but they did happen. One of these was mere weeks before he passed. I can't help but think he finally gave up thinking I didn't really love him and what's the point and all. Or, that God made him pay the price to teach me a lesson for my mouth and bad behavior in dealing with what turned out to be his terminal illness. I can not and do not expect him to ever forgive me for these inexcusable transgressions. Ironically, as I was walking home from my bus stop deciding to post this, I saw the most amazing sunset that I had not seen the like since my childhood in Arizona. I don't know if that was some sort of sign, but I still can't escape the guilt, and I don't think I ever will

You were a G'Boy Tom, you deserved better baby.

[Bobbie]

Dear Tom's Dad,

That certainly is a Tomtastic cat! And a great picture at that! One picture is all you really need, too. I have one of my Rudy sitting on my TV tray day and night. The only time I move it is to put the placemat down for supper. And then I simply pick it up and put it right back down. It's been there almost 1 1/2 years already.

I may sound like a dizzy broad, but I absolutely know that Tom has already met my Crocker, Birney, Kelly, Jasper, Rudy and Spot & Squirt (my late canaries) and he's having almost a blast! You know that the best time will be when you all meet again and that day will come, too. Please give it time and that can be so hard to do. Remember, you did so many things for Tom that no one ever could or would. That's love. Words are words period, but (your) actions are what mattered to Tom. And you'll do the same for Theresa.

BTW - my dad worked in a small Power Company while I was growing up!

May you have a peace filled night!
Bobbie