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 Can't Escape The Guilt, What I didn't talk about before... |
 Mar 22 2011, 07:45 PM
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 4,059 Joined: 6-January 11 From: Louisville KY Member No.: 6,946  |
I know I have danced around this before, but my guilty concience demands that I come right out with it. As I had said I said some horrible things to Tom when he would have his more severe accidents (litterally ON me or in the bed, etc) On more than one occasion I had said 'why don't you just hurry up and die'. I regretted it immediately and know I did not mean it in my heart. But it was out there, and I KNOW he understood me from the deep hurt in his eyes. Another thing I swore I'd never do but did, was give him a time out in the pet taxi that his former owner had done as punishment exactly FOR that reason. Yes, they were fairly isolated incidents, but they did happen. One of these was mere weeks before he passed. I can't help but think he finally gave up thinking I didn't really love him and what's the point and all. Or, that God made him pay the price to teach me a lesson for my mouth and bad behavior in dealing with what turned out to be his terminal illness. I can not and do not expect him to ever forgive me for these inexcusable transgressions. Ironically, as I was walking home from my bus stop deciding to post this, I saw the most amazing sunset that I had not seen the like since my childhood in Arizona. I don't know if that was some sort of sign, but I still can't escape the guilt, and I don't think I ever will
 You were a G'Boy Tom, you deserved better baby. -------------------- Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. |
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Apr 23 2011, 09:51 AM
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 2,020 Joined: 13-April 11 Member No.: 7,067 |
Tom's dad
I read your post about feeling so guilty and wrote a reply - but my computer went haywire just as I finished it. It's the only time in my life that I cried enough for tears to actually fall off my face. I want to share it with you so I'm going to try to add the screen shots as an attachment. No matter what happens, know that your Tom is in a safe place and loves you like only he can. Love never dies. Happy Easter, Tom Gretta's mom
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Apr 24 2011, 12:16 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 4,059 Joined: 6-January 11 From: Louisville KY Member No.: 6,946 |
QUOTE (Gretta's Mom @ Apr 23 2011, 10:51 AM)  Tom's dad I read your post about feeling so guilty and wrote a reply - but my computer went haywire just as I finished it. It's the only time in my life that I cried enough for tears to actually fall off my face. I want to share it with you so I'm going to try to add the screen shots as an attachment. No matter what happens, know that your Tom is in a safe place and loves you like only he can. Love never dies. Happy Easter, Tom Gretta's mom Thank you Gretta's Mom - I'm not sure ehat the attachment is, I can't open it. -------------------- Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. |
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Posts in this topic
Tom's Dad Can't Escape The Guilt Mar 22 2011, 07:45 PM
ConnieJ TomsDad,
I feel fairly confident in saying that e... Mar 22 2011, 10:32 PM Cheryl83 Dear Tom's Dad,
I agree with ConnieJ. We have... Mar 23 2011, 10:25 AM moon_beam Hi, Tom, thank you so much for letting us know how... Mar 23 2011, 04:00 PM Tom's Dad Thank you everybody for the kind words of support.... Mar 23 2011, 07:58 PM magdalene You didn't mean that you wanted Tom to die. Y... Mar 26 2011, 05:16 PM magdalene You didn't mean that you wanted Tom to die. Y... Mar 26 2011, 05:17 PM
Tom's Dad QUOTE (magdalene @ Mar 26 2011, 06:17 PM)... Mar 26 2011, 08:12 PM Juturna Dear Tom's Dad,
I've been following your ... Mar 27 2011, 09:53 PM radgirl That is a normal reaction to the situation, we all... Apr 12 2011, 11:45 AM Bobbie Dear Tom's Dad,
First, let me express my sinc... Apr 24 2011, 04:17 PM Tom's Dad QUOTE (Bobbie @ Apr 24 2011, 05:17 PM) De... Apr 24 2011, 05:21 PM Gretta's Mom Hi Tom's dad - here's the text that was in... Apr 24 2011, 05:43 PM Tom's Dad QUOTE (Gretta's Mom @ Apr 24 2011, 06... Apr 24 2011, 06:36 PM Bobbie Dear Tom's Dad,
That certainly is a Tomtastic... Apr 24 2011, 09:37 PM Tom's Dad QUOTE (Bobbie @ Apr 24 2011, 10:37 PM) De... Apr 24 2011, 10:17 PM |
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