How Do You Know When It's Time? Options

[Bobbie]

My Trevor is slowly dying from a bunch of neurologic problems. Most of the time his pain is controlled by medication given every 3 hours. But then there are the nights that he and I are up for hours. Trevor is pacing, digging into the carpet, shaking his head and whimpering with pain. I give him many extra doses of pain medication, antihistamines and sedatives and then wait for them to "kick in". This can take up to another half-hour. He does not like to be touched at all during these episodes and, since he's almost deaf, he cannot hear soothing words. So I either sit or lie with him on the floor. When he does, finally, fall asleep, I cover him with his blanket and lie down beside him, covering his paw with my hand. That seems to be comforting to Trevor.
Trevor's neurologist says that Trevor will not die of the neuro problems. It will be a quality of life issue. Oh, great.
My problem is this: with each of my other ##er Spaniels, I knew exactly when it was time. This time I have no idea. I do NOT want Trevor to suffer, but there are times when he is doing just that. And yet, afternoons and evenings are decent times for him. And my heart just breaks when I think of him not being here (with me). Then I feel selfish, then I feel scared, etc. etc. etc.

Is there anyone who might be willing to share any advice they have?

I love Trevor with all my heart and soul. He is a 12 year old rescue dog that we've had to almost 2 years. He is such a good boy, even with all his "issues" and I want only the VERY BEST for him.
Thanks so much!
Trevor's very sad mom

[Bobbie]

Hi Peggy!

You are a beacon of sunshine in my life! Last night I read about your wonderful Peggy (the dog) and my heart was breaking for all that you two Peggys went through, esp. at the end. Your love, compassion, dedication, empathy, and resolve to spare Peggy the dog from any more pain and suffering shines through every word. And when Peggy gave you her last bit of loving energy, I was almost beside myself! You are one amazing person and the animals are so lucky that you are around!

I love all animals. I only squish Stink Bugs because they are so numerous and have no natural enemies in this country yet and they are ruining our state's crops. But I make sure and apologize at the same time! I cannot watch any television footage or pictures of any violence to any animal because I will remember the image(s) forever. They do not go away. I could not read "The Lost Dogs". I cried. I try to donate to those Humane organizations that are truly working for the animals and insist that they send me NO literature or "gifts". They are wasting money that could be used for the animals. I cannot do nearly what I used to do and it kills me to recycle the envelopes that come in the mail. But I rescued Trevor and spend 25% of our pay to care for him. And my sister has helped, too!

Trevor's night was barely fair. He didn't seem in pain, but was very insecure. He constantly had to know where I was, so I finally slept on the floor next to him. This morning I had a backache. He has slept all day upstairs and that's where I have been, also. I haven't gotten anything "done" that I had planned, but I also don't care about that. We do have to go down around 4 pm.
We are going to try one additional medication for Trevor. His neurologist suggested amantadine which is a human drug so we can get it cheaper at Walmart. This should re-route signals in the brain which detect and react to pain. He's only on it for 3 weeks, then off for 4 months. I hope it works.

Mark and Linda are such gems! Linda even offered to pay for the shunt surgery for Trevor, but I'm not doing that to him. Plans are made for Trevor's buriel at the Blatimore Humane Society's cemetary (where all my other boys are) and Mark and Linda will be there, too. All, but one, of my boys have gone to the Rainbow Bridge in our home. Most people think that is wierd or too hard, but I find it the best for us and the boys. Familiar surroundings, mom and dad right there, soft blanket cushioning them and a familair vet as well. I admire you for being able to say good bye as you did! And my sister, too.

Yes, Jeanne is so very sad and lost. Gretta was her first and only dog as an adult. This was her first experience with everthing that goes with and erupts from a doggie death. I try to comfort and validate her actions and feeling, but I am doing a dismal job (although she says I'm fine). And she won't be getting another dog, so that makes things even worse, I think. You are helping her tremendously. Thank you!

Well, it's time to actually DO something up here while Trevor is still sleeping in the bathroom......

Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for your friendship and comfort!

Love,
Bobbie