New Here, About to join the ranks Options

[Michelle P]

Hello everyone! I am new here, & while this is a tough forum to be on I am glad I found it. I'm having a hard time reading the threads ---tears tears tears ---but I am getting through them slowly.

We are going to have to put down our beloved 15 year old tabby soon --& it is KILLING me.

Jake & Elwood came to us --litter mates --when they were 7 weeks old. 8 years ago Jake developed diabetes. Many trips to the vet to get him regulated --for about 6 months & then they discontinued his insulin. Had to start over --more trips to the vet (& he is NOT a good traveler!) -- got him regulated somewhat. Then I found a terrific forum for feline diabetes. I learned about testing before each shot. So --to add to the 2 sticks a day of insulin --I started sticking his ear twice a day. All I had to do is say "Come here Jake" & he would come sit on my lap, all ready to be poked. Even purring. So sweet.

He definitely got the short end of the stick. He's had a urinary blockage --- an abscess on his chin --- & last year a liver issue.At that time they suggested putting him down, but I took fluids home & gave him some meds & he totally turned around. Even the vet was shocked that he made a full recovery.

Now he's dwindled from his high 22 lbs to just 8. He's developed neuropathy from the diabetes & can barely see. A few days ago he started not putting his butt all the way down when peeing --- so we bought a mat to put under the box. Now, yesterday, I saw him pee outside of his litter box. He has never ever done that. I think that is my sign. I'm trying to get a urine sample to take to the vet, hoping it's just a bladder infection. But deep down I know this is it. I can't stop crying. I was crying at work all day yesterday --- & we haven't even done it yet. I feel like I can't. These are my first pets ever. I had a dog & 3 cats growing up --but the health issues & decisions were that of my parents. I had a hard time losing my dog --I was only 13 --but all the cats died after I left the house & it just wasn't as hard.

I feel like I am always going to cry. My kids don't know life without Jake. We've never had just one cat. And his poor brother Elwood --he will be lost. Every time he cries for Jake I will lose it. I will never get over losing him.

I lost my dad 8 years ago --just 2 months before Jake developed the diabetes -- at the young age of 57. Of course it was tragic & I had a hard time for a LONG time --& of course I still cry. But I think it's the innocence of animals that I can't cope with --every time Jake looks at me & meows while purring, I feel horrible.

Ok, I am bawling now -- I will wake up with puffy eyes once again tomorrow.

I do look forward to getting to know everyone -- & I'm hoping you all can help me work through the grief that has started before he is even gone

Michelle

[Michelle P]

I have never cried so hard in my life I can't stop -- I feel like I will never stop. It was so hard. My husband & my mom & my aunt were with me --- we had it done at the Humane Society since my aunt has been part of it for years. The director himself did it. He was so nice.

So now I'm home & his fur is on my clothes & the spot where he always slobbered on my laptop is still there --I have to clean up his bed & food bowl & I can't bring myself to do it. I have to go get my kids from school soon, & even though they knew it was happening & they said goodbye ---it will be hard walking in this house with no Jake. I keep hearing his meows. He was so good --- never once flinched when I gave him his insulin shots, even though I wasn't too smooth in the beginning. He came & happily sat on my lap for his blood tests --he was always purring no matter what. I miss him so much already.

They really should give grievance pay for losing a pet. I have no idea how I will face work tomorrow.

[Rhapsedy]

Michelle,

I am so sorry for your loss. You did the one last act of love for Jake, it was defintely time for him to leave his earthly journey. There are no words that I can say now that will help you with your pain. I have been there 3 times in the last year and a half and I know how debilitating the pain can be. I thought I was going to lose my job because I spent half of the day in a conference room crying for weeks! I told my supervisor about what I was going thru and thankfully she was very understanding, you may want to tell your supervisor so he or she knows that you are dealing with something very traumatic.

I am going to say an extra special prayer for you, your family, and Jake tonight. Please know that we are all here for you with the love and compassion that you need during this difficult time.

Love and hugs,
Rhapsedy