Barney, My Guilt is Justified Options

[Rhapsedy]

I went to my psychologist last night and it didn't go well. I was telling her how I feel guilty about letting Barney use the doggie door even after he was sick and she said or kind of yelled really, "well yah, you should have crated him!" I just looked at her with my mouth hanging open, I couldn't believe what she blurted out. I feel just awful! I was wrong to let him go out the doggie door because who knows what he got into! I am just sick to my stomach and back to day one with the way I felt when Barney died. I know you guys have to be sick of my pathetic cries for help but I really needed to tell someone this. I didn't think he would get into anything because he wasn't eating food and maybe he didn't get into anything, but maybe he did. I was totally irresponsible and will never forgive myself for being so careless.

[Juturna]

Dear Rhapsedy,

Thank you for sharing with us how your session went with your therapist. I'm amazed that she did not apologize.

As Moon_bean so eloquently wrote, guilt is a very painful part of the grief journey that takes time. I totally understand how overwhelming it feels. The struggle for guilt reconciliation is part of the mourning process. It is not something that needs to be fixed, though it may benefit from suportive gentle guiding to facilitate healing.

As someone who works in the counseling field, I'm not a huge fan of hypnotherapy, and would be hesitant to try regression during deep grief. Would you consider seeing a grief counselor who is skilled in dealing with animal companion losses? The veterinary schools may be able to refer you.

You were a wonderful guardian for precious Barney and gave him the gift of a loving life. Please remember that when it is time for our animal companions to leave this life, it is ususally outside of our control and sometimes the reason is cloudy. I hope you will be gentle with yourself as Barney would want that, and try to take it one day at a time for now.

With healing hugs and peace,
Juturna