My Lucy Just Died In My Arms, third pet loss in less than 5 years Options

[mmholt]

Lucy had undiagnosed seizures for over a year, mostly controlled my medication. She was 13. She had a bad bout of pancreatitis in November, spent a week in the hospital, but bounced back really well. In the past few weeks her seizures had become more frequent, but the vet said I was supposed to expect breakthrough seizures and they would check her phenobarbitol levels next week.

About 8 hours ago, I hear what sounded like Lucy getting into badness from the other room and sent my son to check. She'd gotten my Happy Eye Pillow, a little silk pillow filled with flaxseeds and torn it open. She ate a bunch of the seeds. Now I have scoured the internet and couldn't find anything that said flaxseed is bad for dogs, just the opposite - a lot of advice to add it to their food - so I think what happened next has to do more with her brain than the flaxseed. The seed made her stomach upset and she threw up several times. She seemed fine for a few minutes, and then she had a partial seizure. Every time I tried to move her she'd start seizuring again. The the seizures stopped and she was comatose. She didn't react to any stimuli at all, not even a hard toe pinch. My husband is out of town with the car so I had no way to get her to the ER vet, but it looked pretty hopeless anyway.

I tucked her into bed with me and just held her for a few hours. I slept for a bit, and she was still with us when I woke up three and half hours ago. I picked her up and put her on her comfy cushion, resting her head on her favorite plush toys and covered her with the blanket she liked to steal from me. I checked on her every few minutes while I searched the internet for any advise, any hope. Finally her breathing became loud and irregular. I snatched her up in my arms and I could feel her heart beating so fast under my hand. Her entire body was limp except for her front legs, which were very stiff. And then they suddenly weren't stiff anymore. I couldn't feel her heart anymore. She took a few more ragged breaths, then her bodily functions let go, and she was gone...

I'm just devastated. My whole family is. We knew we were on borrowed time - they told us that the sudden development of seizures in an older dog was almost surely a brain tumor or some type an aneurysm, and not treatable. But I can't bear it that she's gone.



This is Lucy Jo when she was just a few years old. Good night my beautiful princess. I will miss you forever.

[PeleMom]

mmholt,

I am so sorry. I just lost my cat Pele to sudden seizures on Wednesday. She was 13 also, and my only pet. I did the same thing as you, thinking of every new or out of the ordinary thing that might have led to her seizures. I had just washed her blanket and put it over her. I had just moved the houseplant and she had smelled some dead leaves. etc, etc... But your story is one of several I have read of pets around the same age developing seizures and then dying from them. It makes me so angry, but the message seems to be that it's pretty common for cats and dogs to develop seizures in their later years. Knowing that doesn't make it any better, except easing the pressure off blaming yourself.

I am not out of the woods myself with the whole thing, I'm a mess. But I wanted to tell you I know how you feel. This forum has helped, even just writing it out helps to begin processing the grief.

janika is right, you comforted your Lucy when she needed you. Even unconscious I believe a familiar touch and smell relaxes and calms. When it's my time to go I can only hope I'll be in the arms of those that care most about me.

Take care, one day at a time...

~ Jana