Grieving My Beautiful Little Girl Options

[Juturna]

For the past 2 days I have emersed my grief in reading postings finding them comforting in dealing with the guilt and heartache. My precious little Victoria was euthanized on 1/23 while I held her head and told her that I love her. Victoria was a buff and white ##er spaniel close to 14 years of age who had a strong will and tremendous spirit. She presented as much younger than her age, despite her health issues with cushings disease which we controlled with a lot of medication.

Last Thurs. Victoria stopped eating treats, had difficulty on the stairs, stayed in bed alot, and stopped wagging her tail. I took her to the vet on Fri. and he said that it may be lyme disease, prescibed an antibiotic, and told me to call on Mon. if she was worse. The next day she drank her water, and ate a tiny bit of food. She even jumped off my lap to watch children sledding out the window. I went to the city that evening for shopping and dinner not knowing that would be the last night that I could be with her. I still remember Victoria's sad eyes looking at me as I was leaving. Her appitite was worse when I returned home. The next morning she could barely walk, was totally disorriented, and was incontinent. We took her to an emergency vet center as my regular vet was not in the office. By Sunday at lunch time she had to be carried into the emergency center and was critically ill. The vet suspected that she had cancer which had spread to a major organ. I made the decision to euthanize which I am OK with. She went peacefully surrounded by the people that loved her the most.

My difficulty is with the guilt I feel in not being with my girl for close to 5 hours on her last night, and with the extreme sense of loss and pain. Since Victoria had health issues with the cushings disease and was deaf, so much of my time was spent caring for her, especially these last 2 years. Now there is an enormous emptiness in my heart. I just want to cry all the time and I'm having trouble sleeping. I've been talking to friends and have a very supportive significant other, but the pain of grief is so sudden and intense.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Juturna, just stopping by to let you know you're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you will have a peaceful evening tonight, and that your scrapbook project for your precious Victoria will continue to bring you comfort. Will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Juturna]

Hi, Juturna, just stopping by to let you know you're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you will have a peaceful evening tonight, and that your scrapbook project for your precious Victoria will continue to bring you comfort. Will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you so much Moon_beam for your continued support. I did not get out of bed in tears this morning, so there is progress. I took time tonight to look over the photos of my beautiful Victoria, though I've not had time to work on the scrapebook today. I'm hoping to have time on Sunday.

With gratitude and peace,
Juturna