My Precious Baby Girl Options

[rainbohdi]

I am new here and not sure if is ok for me to be posting this so soon, but I guess someone will tell me if it's not.

I also don't know if it's ok to say what happened to her because it was so very awful and people might find it too hard to read, perhaps someone could tell me about that too.

I have supportive friends and they are all devastated that she is gone, even moreso because of how she went.

I couldn't have human babies so she was my one and only baby girl and my most precious love. She was 15 but still so agile and full of life and she neither acted nor looked her age. She loved me, her other people and life so very deeply. She made people smile every day, from her extended family to total strangers out on her walks. Even people who'd say they weren't dog people seemed to make an exception for her.

I know I have to go on, but it has been me and her for so long now that I don't know how to be just me. Every second of each day I have to fight the urge to curl up in a corner and die. I just miss her so badly it feels like every cell in my body is distressed, there is an ache and an emptiness I think will be there forever.

I couldn't save my sweet little girl, she trusted me to keep her safe and cared for and I just couldn't keep her safe this one time she needed it more than ever.

I hope everyone else suffering the pain of the loss of their babies is as ok as anyone can be at a time like this.

rb

[rainbohdi]

im so sorry that i dont visit more often and that i havent reached out to hardly any people, i want to but the mix of all the grief here and my own makes me feel even more like im drowning in sorrow. so i come here intending to try and help someone feel heard and cared about in their pain and leave having not done it, except in my own head and heart which is of little use to you if you dont know. again, im so sorry.

i had to come say this somewhere though ... at this time exactly four weeks ago my baby girl was being viciously attacked by a dog that had escaped from the his backyard. it was violent, brutal and fatal. my precious baby girl's life was ended in the most horrific of ways and yet she had always been such a sweet friendly girl in all her 15 and a half years. i wish with all my heart that i hadnt taken her out that morning or that we had taken that bit longer to leave or something that would mean she hadnt died like that.

i know everyone's furbaby is the most precious wonderful clever adorable furbaby that ever was, but there really was something just that bit extra special about bohdi, so many people said it and it was so apparent in the way she lived each day. she had a real zest for life and a massive delightful character inside a pint-sized body.

i try so hard to make myself think about all the amazing stuff about her, but the horror of her last few minutes just takes over like it is seared on to my brain. why, i mean i know she had to die at some time but like she did, why??

inside my head is chaos and i dont know how to fix that. maybe the memorial service next sunday morining might help, we are going to have a few words and then release some black and pink (she was totally black, except for her tongue) balloons with a little note inside and then some cake and coffee and some talk about her life.

i love you my baby girl and im so sorry i couldnt save you.

thankyou for this space, i hope in time i can maybe help someone. i wish each and every one of you a moment's respite from the pain that will be filled with a favourite memory of your furkid and for further on, i wish you many many of those moments.

take care as best you can