Sudden Death Of My Little Girl Options

[JoanneL]

I am very new here as I just registered last night. I wrote a new topic post but now I can't find it on the site so I am trying again. My husband took our 2 little Schnoodles out for their morning walk on Monday and a few minutes later I got his frantic call. Our little girl had gotten off her leash, run into the street and was hit and killed by a car. We took her to the ER even though we knew she was gone. I can't remember ever being so hysterical in my life. I have cried and wailed for the last 4 days.
I am so glad I found this site last night and that all of you are out there. It is so lonely trying to go through this pain. My husband and I are not really able to talk much about it yet. I know he is replaying the scene in his head and always will. We have our little boy, her brother, and he is trying to figure out why everything has changed.
Friends have said we should think to the future about getting another dog but right now all I can think about is my Zoe and the fact that I will never hold her again or get those sweet kisses from her when I get home from work at night.

[JoanneL]

Need to write to you tonight. I did OK at work today. Did not cry while I was there but once I got in the car to drive home I cried so hard I made myself sick. I got dizzy but had no place to pull over because I was on the 6 lane highways that I commute to work each day. I just kept telling myself that I could not pass out or I would be joining Zoe and I am really not ready for that.
It is true the grief can really make us sick. My husband picked up Zoe's ashes today and I told him where I wanted to keep them but I can't look at the box. I know I will one day soon but it is not the right time for me.
I was very glad our office opened 2 hrs late today due to the snow and ice. I commute approximately 1 hr each way to get to and from work. It gets dark so early now I am driving home in the dark. I usually listen to audio books on the commute but I am having problems concentrating because when I am alone in the car it really hits me hard that Zoe is gone for good.
Joanne