Sudden Death Of My Little Girl Options

[JoanneL]

I am very new here as I just registered last night. I wrote a new topic post but now I can't find it on the site so I am trying again. My husband took our 2 little Schnoodles out for their morning walk on Monday and a few minutes later I got his frantic call. Our little girl had gotten off her leash, run into the street and was hit and killed by a car. We took her to the ER even though we knew she was gone. I can't remember ever being so hysterical in my life. I have cried and wailed for the last 4 days.
I am so glad I found this site last night and that all of you are out there. It is so lonely trying to go through this pain. My husband and I are not really able to talk much about it yet. I know he is replaying the scene in his head and always will. We have our little boy, her brother, and he is trying to figure out why everything has changed.
Friends have said we should think to the future about getting another dog but right now all I can think about is my Zoe and the fact that I will never hold her again or get those sweet kisses from her when I get home from work at night.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Joanne, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Zoe. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. And a loss is even more painful when it is through tragic events.

Joanne, please know that this was a very unpredictable event that happened. Our furkids have a way of surprising us with what they can do, and most of the time it is with our delight. But then there are times such as eluding their leashes, collars, getting out of their fenced in yards, etc., that lead us to the deepest grief we will know during our earthly journey with them.

Clinical studies show that the mind "records" events in our lives, and unfortunately this includes traumatic events as well. The more traumatic the event is, the more fixated the mind becomes and the traumatic event is then re-played over and over and over again - - like a phonograph needle stuck in the groove of a vinyl record - - yes, I know, I grew up with what was then "modern" technology. This is a form of post-traumatic stress, and believe me when I say I do know what your husband must be going through right now - - for different reasons. Hopefully in time this will subside over the coming days, perhaps weeks. However, if your husband finds himself unable to re-focus his mind from that horrible tragedy, then he may need to seek professional medical assistance. This is not a sign of weakness of his part. Our brains are a combination of several different chemicals, and our brains are physically affected by the stress of traumatic events which can literally change the way our brains function. Our bodies have a wonderful way of healing itself, including our brains, but sometimes they need some help. Will he ever forget this horrible event? Probably not, but the goal is to have him focus his memories on the wonderful life he shared with Zoe BEFORE this horrible tragedy occurred. And I assure you, Joanne, this is what your precious Zoe wants for him, and for you. She wants you to remember her life with you with happiness in your hearts.

Joanne, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences we will have during our earth journey. And yes, our beloved companions' housemates do mourn the physical loss as well. So, I know you and your husband are doing all you can to comfort your precious little boy, and that he is trying to be a source of comfort for you and your husband as well, particularly since he was there and also witnessed the events.

Clinical professionals have just recently begun to understand, and accept, that the grief journey of the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as that for a human family member or friend. Unfortunately, our society in general, and sometimes specific people who are the closest to us, do not understand the depth of the love bond that we share with our beloved companions, and therefore do not accept the deep grief that we go through. Joanne, I promise you that each of us here do understand what you, your husband, and your precious little boy are going through, and we are here for all of you for as long and as often as you need us. Our beloved companions give to us their undivided attention and unconditional love, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely. When they precede us to the angels, they do take a part of us that belongs only to them so that they will have a part of us with them while they wait patiently for our appropriate time to join them in eternal joy. This is one of the many reasons why losing their physical presence is so very painful -- both emotionally and physically. Our lives change for the better when our beloved companions come into our lives, and they change again when they precede us to the angels. This time, however, we are blessed with their sweet Living Spirits forever in our hearts and memories, and nothing can ever take this away from us, because love is eternal, Joanne, - - it is not bound by the physical laws of time and space. Only you and your husband will know if, when, you are ready to embrace a new life into your hearts and home, and this is how it should be, Joanne.

Joanne, this grief journey is a one day at a time journey, sometimes a one moment at a time journey. There are so many ups, downs, twists, turns, and turnarounds - - sometimes overwhelming us at the same time. It is important that you and your husband physically release your deep grief for this will help both your hearts and bodies to heal. Scientific studies prove that our tears are healing tears because they release the toxins that build up in our bodies from the stress of grief. Some people think that if they suppress their grief that it will help to make their loss less painful. Clinical studies, however, show the opposite is true, for suppressed grief eventually causes both physical and emotional challenges that will inevitably need to be dealt with.

Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us your precious Zoe. Perhaps in time you will feel up to posting picture(s) of her and sharing with us some of your wonderful memories. Please know you, your husband, and your precious little boy are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and please do let us know how things are going whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam