Guilt, We Lost our Boy Options

[waflady]

On Wednesday, we took our wonderful dog, Rusty, to the vet for euthanasia. Rusty was sixteen years old and had been incontinent for almost a year. He could not walk for more than a few steps without falling, and was barking in what I assume to have been pain when he tried to get up. We had been carrying him most of the time for months, and we even took him outside and "helped" him to relieve himselve by pressing on his bladder. We had talked to the vet and she had predicted years ago that his overall good health would lead to this end, crippling of his hindquarters and loss of his bladder and bowel functions. Generally, he slept most of the time when he was not needing to go out. On Wednesday, he seemed to be in distress and was barking for me whenever I left the room. He vomited at one point, and I took him outside to relieve himself. When we came in he cried as he tried to lay down. My husband and i could not stand to see him in pain anymore, so we took him in. At the time I felt it was right, and the vet agreed, stating his kidneys were probably failing. He had been drinking lots of water and urinating heavily. I am now so consumed with grief and guilt that I am physically ill. I can't eat or sleep. My husband assures me we ended his pain and that it was merciful, but I still feel I did something terribly wrong. I know that he was just worn out and there was nothing to do to help him, but why don't I feel that I did what was right? Is this normal? Will it pass? Please help me.

[waflady]

Thank you. I have been reading these posts for over an hour and it is helping tremendously. I hope that with time, I will begin to know that my Rusty is waiting for me and that he is young and strong again, the way he used to be.