My Precious Baby Girl Options

[rainbohdi]

I am new here and not sure if is ok for me to be posting this so soon, but I guess someone will tell me if it's not.

I also don't know if it's ok to say what happened to her because it was so very awful and people might find it too hard to read, perhaps someone could tell me about that too.

I have supportive friends and they are all devastated that she is gone, even moreso because of how she went.

I couldn't have human babies so she was my one and only baby girl and my most precious love. She was 15 but still so agile and full of life and she neither acted nor looked her age. She loved me, her other people and life so very deeply. She made people smile every day, from her extended family to total strangers out on her walks. Even people who'd say they weren't dog people seemed to make an exception for her.

I know I have to go on, but it has been me and her for so long now that I don't know how to be just me. Every second of each day I have to fight the urge to curl up in a corner and die. I just miss her so badly it feels like every cell in my body is distressed, there is an ache and an emptiness I think will be there forever.

I couldn't save my sweet little girl, she trusted me to keep her safe and cared for and I just couldn't keep her safe this one time she needed it more than ever.

I hope everyone else suffering the pain of the loss of their babies is as ok as anyone can be at a time like this.

rb

[moon_beam]

Hi, rainbohdi, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved companion. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company.

Rainbohdi, this grief journey is one of "adjustment", of re-defining our lives without the physical presence of our beloved companions, and it is a very painful journey - - both physically and emotionally. Our beloved companions become the center of our universe during their earthly journey with us. Our lives change for the better when they come into them, and they change again when they precede us to the angels. This time, however, we are blessed to have their precious memories and unconditional love to hold onto, and their sweet Living Spirits always within our hearts sharing our lives just as they always have, and always will.

Rainbohdi, unfortunately we do not have the gift of foreknowledge as to the circumstances of "how" and "when" our beloved companions will join the angels. Guilt is a part of the grief journey, unfortunately, and is one of the hardest emotions to reconcile, because guilt is the result of the "wisdom" that comes from hindsight. We are overcome with the "what if's" "if I had only's" "why didn't I's" "I should have's" "I should not have's" - - and on and on and on. Your precious girl knows that you love her with all your heart, and would move heaven and earth, walk through roiling lava or on hot burning coals to make sure that she was safe, healthy, and happy. We can only love our beloved companions each and every day to the very best of our ability, Rainbohdi, and this is all our beloved companions ask. Our beloved companions do not want us entrenched in guilt. Rather they want us to remember their earthly journey with us with a happy heart, and hopefully, as your deep grief passes, you will be able to do this. But this will take time, one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.

So it is important for you to know that you are among friends here, Rainbohdi. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam