My Sweet Spooky 5/17/97-12/23/10 Options

[Christina R.]

I lost my sweet dog Spooky 48 hours ago and I don't know what to do with myself. She was amazing and my constant companion for 13 1/2 years. I am so utterly pained right now. I'm just broken ....

The pain seems to get worse and my sobs seem to get louder ... I can't believe this has happened.

My sweet little girl was a Chihuahua/Min Pin mix and we were attached at the hip. I was her person ... and she let everyone know that. She's weathered so many storms with me and given me so much love and comfort - it's hard to fathom my world without her in it.

I had to have back surgery two months ago and have been laid up in bed ever since and she happily stayed by my side night and day. Unexpectedly, two and a half weeks ago she started having trouble walking. I've been living with my parents for the past 2 1/2 years, going back to school to start a new life for myself ... and when Spooky's problems started, I had to ask for help to get her in and out of the bed. It was torture watching my baby girl struggling to walk and not be able to help her. Torture. My brother, her veterinarian, thought there she might have an infection in her spine, but every antibiotic we tried didn't help. Her condition declined so fast, it was awful. This week she couldn't walk at all and I prayed she would get better ... but it didn't happen. I cannot express the agonizing frustration I experienced not being able to lift her off the ground ... my stupid back.

Her last day here, my poor little girl was unable to walk, she could only sit up for a few minutes at a time, and she wouldn't eat and couldn't get her tongue to work right - just drinking was a chore. My little girl ... I know she didn't understand what was happening to her - she looked so scared every time she fell over. My brother thinks little Spooky had some sort of tumor in her brain that was causing her to lose her motor function. He told me I would know when it was time to let her go ... and I did. 48 hours ago, I gave my sweet baby girl the gift of peace and freedom from her failing body.

I'm just so broken up about it. I miss her so much and the loss is tremendous. I feel like a whole has been punched through my world and I'm in pieces.

I'm broken and feel so alone. How do I move on from this when I can't breath without thinking of her.

[kestle]

Hi I have just read about your precious little darling Spooky. I do know exactly how you are feeling how helpless and devastated you are and your yearning for your little Spooky. I lost my precious little Baby too just 2 weeks ago and i am still in total meltdown just like you.

I know we always think no one else can feel this bad because we loved ours more than anyone else could understand, but believe me when i say that on here we are all at heartbreaking stages of loss and utter grief. Every bone in your body ache,s you feel like you are losing your mind and your heart has been ripped out of your chest.

I am not very good at this, i am still very new like you on here but please believe that the support you will recieve on here will help you through from one day to the next. That is all you can do at the moment. I have just been looking at your little Spooky and words cannot say how beautiful he is. I am 63 years old and have always rescued animals from extremely horrible situations, but you know your little Spooky was, and is, a very lucky little doggy to have you before and now because you are STILL showering him with love and keeping him safe in your heart where he will stay forever. My heart goes out to you and i promise you i am feeling just the same. Please please just open your heart to these lovely people on here as often as you feel you can do it.

LOTS OF LOVE Gloria