Did I Make The Right Decision?, Euthanization Options

[Tinou]

This is my first visit to this forum, I think it's going to help me a lot.

I had my cat euthanised yesterday, Tinou was 11 years old. This is the first time I go throught the death of my animal. My cat has been sick for the past 4-5 days, didn't eat, drink-and my cat is a big eater. He lost about 6 pounds all of a suden-something was wrong. He was very weak and his fur started changing. Poor thing! We had to give him drops of water because he didn't want to drink. We never thought it would have been that bad, we would have brought him sooner to the vet.

The vet could not find anything wrong after examination (touch) and suggested a batterie of test and fluids to check what was wrong with him or euthanise him. After debating our options and crying our eyes out, we decided to euthanise him. I have a feeling he was sick for a month or 2 but will never know. Our cat left this world very weak and sick and I hate that he left that way. On top of that, we had left him all weekend at home not knowing it was that bad (but someone was checking him during our absence), so I feel like we didn't spend enough time with him during his last days.

The reason we choose to euthanise him over a batterie of tests was because the vet bills would have been way over our budget and we could not afford it. And the cat was suffering enough, we didn't want it to keep going on like that.

Now I regret my decision, I feel guilty. Maybe we should have went the other way and pay for all the tests-maybe he just ate something and would have been better after some medications. But, I have a feeling we would have discovered that he had something very wrong with him and this would have been useless. I think if we would have known if the cat was sick or that he had cancer or something, it would have been less hard on us, we feel like there was no reason for us to euthanise him and we did it just because we were cheap. I don't know. I take comfort in my feeling that he was sick and like the vet said, that not all cats live up to 15 years of age. Maybe it was his time.

I just find it very hard and I keep thinking that we made a decision too fast and should have thought about it more. I miss him so much. I feel so much pain, I feel like I could cry all day again today. Is this normal??????? Will this feeling go away?????? I guess time will tell...Did I make the right decision?????

Mama

[michelles kitty]

i am so sorry for your loss. you did the right thing. your grief is strong, and it will ease with time. i'd be lying if i say if goes away completely. although it is different for each person. i lost my two cats and my two dogs within two years of each other. all from old age related illnesse's. and it still hurts but not as bad as it did when they first all passed. im glad you were with your furbaby till the end. i am a strong believer that they came into my life i need to be there when they go out of my life. just me.

i never thought after losing all of them so suddenly and all within 2 yrs...that i could even love another like i did them. they were all my babies.

it took awile but i have now aqquired two dogs...(again) and boy let me tell you they just filled the void i had in my heart.

i did have a very hard time whent hey first came to me...i kept thinking....nope not gonna get attached. yeah right...i kept thinking...i know how it all ends....and i didnt want my heart to break again....

but ...... i kept telling my self that... they need love and a home....and did i really want to miss all the in betweens? the joy ? the love? and most of all the way they give themselves to you? ...i didnt. and now ive opened up and gave my heart again...

i tell you this because i want you to know...that you have a lot of love in your heart,,,your a good mommy and you will get better in time.....it takes time...i dont know how much time...but time....

and when you look back you will remember your kitty and you will get a warm fuzzy feeling when you think if your kitty...and not that feeling of blah that you have right now. i call it the ick factor...that ick feeling knowing they are not there...

but your kitty will always be with you in your heart.
i am so sorry for your loss. xox