Fractured By Dispair, Losing my Squiggy Options

[LostInDespair]

Hello all. I found you over the weekend as I need help from friends in this difficult time. On Friday, my wonderful Peke, Squiggy, was put to sleep. I cannot put my devastation into words. My little guy was only 8. He has a mitral valve leak for 2 years, and other med problems most certainly caused by the mill he came from. Squig was sick from day 1. I am so blessed to have loved and have been loved by him- no one would have loved him as I did. His loss is so profound. No one too kiss me, greet me, or play with me. He was always within arms reach. I look down and he's not there.
I knew it was time, he couldn't breathe or walk. I carried him around the house for 2 days, yet I regret my decision and I miss him; I want him back.
My family doesn't understand; my husband hasn't said a word to me, my kids were not attached. They were told to keep away from him so they have no feeling of loss.
I feel so alone. He loved me like no other. This pain is so unbearable. Thank you in advance for the shoulder to lean on, I can't see how to be without him.

[MommyluvsuLukas]

Hello LostInDespair,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved pet Squiggy. My condolences go out to you during this hard journey. I too know the pain and suffering that you are feeling and I wish there was some magic words that I could use to take away everyone’s pain that comes to this forum. The pain and emptiness that you describe is a feeling we are all familiar with and please know that we are here for you during this sad journey.

All though everyone’s story is different, every pet is different, the years our precious pets shared with us vary, we all have one thing in common; the pain, the emptiness and the guilt when our beloved pet departs. I do know that since I lost my dog Lukas over a month ago, this journey is a rollercoaster ride and there will be days that the pain and emptiness is still very fresh.

As Moon_Beam so kindly has written, it is unfortunate that the beginning of this grieving journey is filled with so much of the guilt “why didn’t I do this”, “I should of done this” , “why did I do that” that it consumes us at times. I know that it is a hard journey and please know LostInDespair, that my heart and prayers go out to you and Squiggy and know that we are all here for you during this hard time.

MommyluvsuLukas