Fractured By Dispair, Losing my Squiggy Options

[LostInDespair]

Hello all. I found you over the weekend as I need help from friends in this difficult time. On Friday, my wonderful Peke, Squiggy, was put to sleep. I cannot put my devastation into words. My little guy was only 8. He has a mitral valve leak for 2 years, and other med problems most certainly caused by the mill he came from. Squig was sick from day 1. I am so blessed to have loved and have been loved by him- no one would have loved him as I did. His loss is so profound. No one too kiss me, greet me, or play with me. He was always within arms reach. I look down and he's not there.
I knew it was time, he couldn't breathe or walk. I carried him around the house for 2 days, yet I regret my decision and I miss him; I want him back.
My family doesn't understand; my husband hasn't said a word to me, my kids were not attached. They were told to keep away from him so they have no feeling of loss.
I feel so alone. He loved me like no other. This pain is so unbearable. Thank you in advance for the shoulder to lean on, I can't see how to be without him.

[moon_beam]

Hi, LostinDespair, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies on the loss of your beloved Squiggy. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our beloved companions - - at great sacrifice to us - - so that they can be healed from their failing physical bodies in the company of the angels.

LostinDespair, this grief journey is one the worst experiences we will have on this side of eternity. Our beloved companions give to us their undivided attention and unconditional love, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them without reservation. This is one of the many reasons why losing their physical presence is so painful for us - - both physically and emotionally.

I am sorry you are not receiving support from your family. However, clinical studies show that this is not uncommon, particularly with the loss of beloved companion. That is why forums like Lightning Strike were formed so that people can come to a place where they can find support and encouragement and comfort and hope during their grief journey.

And so, LostinDespair, please know you are among friends here who do understand first hand what you are going through. This grief journey is filled with so many highs and lows, ups and downs, and turnarounds. It is frequently referred to as the "nightmare roller coaster ride" - - so very unpredictable. Hopefully in time as the deep grief eases you will find that your precious Squiggy's sweet Living Spirit is still with you - - just as he always has been and always will be, for the love bond you shared during his earthly journey with you is eternal - - and so it continues on even now for Squiggy is forever in your heart and memories.

LostinDespair, thank you so o o much for sharing your precious Squiggy with us. Perhaps sometime you can post a picture of him here. We look forward to sharing your many memories of him. Unfortunately in the early stages of our grief journey, our precious happy memories are veiled with the consuming emotion of guilt. This is one of the hardest emotions of this grief journey to reconcile, for guilt comes from the "looking back" and trying to make sense out of all the things we wish we "could have done", "should have done" "should not have done", "why didn't I", etc.. But guilt is not where our beloved companions want us to be. Our beloved companions want us to remember them with a happy heart, and hopefully someday - - when you least expect it, LostinDespair, you will be thinking of your precious Squiggy and will find yourself smiling. And when this happens, LostinDespair, hopefully your heart will be warmed by feeling the presence of your precious Squiggy's sweet Living Spirit.

LostinDespair, I know there are no adequate words that can soothe your broken heart right now. The tears you shed are healing tears. Some people think that if they suppress their grief that their loss will not be so painful. In reality, clinical studies show that suppression only prolongs the grief journey, and can literally cause physical medical problems.

LostinDespair, please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[AngelCareOne]

Hi, LostinDespair, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies on the loss of your beloved Squiggy. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our beloved companions - - at great sacrifice to us - - so that they can be healed from their failing physical bodies in the company of the angels.

LostinDespair, this grief journey is one the worst experiences we will have on this side of eternity. Our beloved companions give to us their undivided attention and unconditional love, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them without reservation. This is one of the many reasons why losing their physical presence is so painful for us - - both physically and emotionally.

I am sorry you are not receiving support from your family. However, clinical studies show that this is not uncommon, particularly with the loss of beloved companion. That is why forums like Lightning Strike were formed so that people can come to a place where they can find support and encouragement and comfort and hope during their grief journey.

And so, LostinDespair, please know you are among friends here who do understand first hand what you are going through. This grief journey is filled with so many highs and lows, ups and downs, and turnarounds. It is frequently referred to as the "nightmare roller coaster ride" - - so very unpredictable. Hopefully in time as the deep grief eases you will find that your precious Squiggy's sweet Living Spirit is still with you - - just as he always has been and always will be, for the love bond you shared during his earthly journey with you is eternal - - and so it continues on even now for Squiggy is forever in your heart and memories.

LostinDespair, thank you so o o much for sharing your precious Squiggy with us. Perhaps sometime you can post a picture of him here. We look forward to sharing your many memories of him. Unfortunately in the early stages of our grief journey, our precious happy memories are veiled with the consuming emotion of guilt. This is one of the hardest emotions of this grief journey to reconcile, for guilt comes from the "looking back" and trying to make sense out of all the things we wish we "could have done", "should have done" "should not have done", "why didn't I", etc.. But guilt is not where our beloved companions want us to be. Our beloved companions want us to remember them with a happy heart, and hopefully someday - - when you least expect it, LostinDespair, you will be thinking of your precious Squiggy and will find yourself smiling. And when this happens, LostinDespair, hopefully your heart will be warmed by feeling the presence of your precious Squiggy's sweet Living Spirit.

LostinDespair, I know there are no adequate words that can soothe your broken heart right now. The tears you shed are healing tears. Some people think that if they suppress their grief that their loss will not be so painful. In reality, clinical studies show that suppression only prolongs the grief journey, and can literally cause physical medical problems.

LostinDespair, please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dearest Moon Beam,

Reading all that you've said to LostinDespair has also helped me enormously regarding my own grief journey. I do hope and pray that everyone will read what you've shared, drink it in, and that it will help them, too.

Thank you so o o o o o much, sweet Moon Beam!

Oceans of Love to you and Yours!

Always, Dottie xoxoxox