Bad Dreams About My Rose... Options

[MissMyRosie]

Hi everyone...

I lost my wonderful kitty of 17 years last Wednesday. Over the last few years we've made heroic efforts (thanks to my wonderful vet, Dr. Smith of Central Texas Cat Hospital) to retain her health through massive liver and kidney issues. Last Wednesday, it was her time. She crashed badly over the weekend, was yellow and could hardly walk. I will never forget my vet examining her, telling me "it's time"...I was with her at the end, telling her I loved her. I will never forget her little lifeless body laying there, never again to kiss me (she would shove her nose in my mouth for kisses), never again to bite my chin in love. It hurts so much. I cry every day. She was the love of my life, been with me through many cross country moves, failed relationships, she was my rock.

I picked up her remains two days ago; I had her cremated. That night, I had a dream in which she appeared healthy and whole and happy. Sadly in my dream I didn't realize she had died and it was just like usual: I picked her up and put her down in my dream. I fully believe she appeared to me because her remains were now home with me.

Then last night I had horrible dreams about her. She was skinny and sick and had an accident in which her paw was severed just below the wrist. Her little hand was laying there next to her body. It was horrible.

I know they visit us in our dreams and I am hoping that the dreams of last night were coming from my brain, not from her. It was horrible.

Anyone else dream, good or bad, about your lost furbabies? Any words of wisdom?

[moon_beam]

Hi, MissMyRosie, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Rosie. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. This grief journey is a very painful one - - both physically and emotionally, particularly in the early deep grief stages. Our beloved companions give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely. When they precede us from this side of eternity, they take the part of us that belongs only to them with them, and this is one of the many reasons why this grief journey is so painful, and why we feel like we have a lost a part of ourselves with their physical absence.

I totally agree with what Clay has said to you, including about your dreams. The first dream was Rosie letting you know that she's happy in heaven's perfect garden and that you don't need to worry about her anymore - - she is restored to her former youthfulness. The horrible nightmare you had was a reflection of the deep sadness and grief you have in your heart and mind right now. While nightmares can leave you with a very uneasy and eerie feeling for awhile, Clay is right on when he says to focus on your happy dreams, because these are coming to you from Rosie sharing her love for you even now and forever.

As a result of my experiences of separation from my beloved companions I have come to a realization, perhaps one that works only for me, that the "goal" of this grief journey is not to "get over" the physical loss of our precious companions but rather to adjust to a different dimension of our ongoing relationship with them. While we are on this side of eternity, our life is known by the physical senses - - sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell. The love bond we share with our loved ones - - whatever the life form - - is not confined to the physical dimension of time and space. So, when a loved one precedes us from this side of eternity, our relatinship with them changes to a different dimension. The love bond that connected us to them during their earthly journey continues on after they are no longer physically present with us, for their sweet Living Spirit is forever with us in our hearts and memories, and they continue to share our lives just as they always have and always will.

MissMyRosie, one of the many important things to remember during this grief journey is that you are not alone. Each of us here knows first hand the deep sorrow you are feeling, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, MissMyRosie, and that I look forward to hearing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam