Lost My Baby Options

[galandria]

Hello. I am new here. I just lost my 4 year old Bulldog, Missy, to heat stroke. I am heartbroken and grief stricken. I am feeling guilt, sick to my stomach, angry, depressed. I didnt get out of bed for 3 days and I had to take her pictures down because I cant bear to look at them. My house is so empty. My cats are a big comfort but I miss my Doodlebug so much. She was my beautiful baby.

My husband and I talked and we decided to get another dog. I wasnt sure where my grief would take me but it has taken me in the direction of wanting to fill my house with love. This tragedy has taught me that life is too short and I dont want to spend it denying myself any happiness. My family is not being supportive about a new dog. They say I am too fragile because of how I am grieving for Missy and that if anything happens to the new dog that I will go to pieces.

I feel extreme guilt as well. Am I acting too fast? Am I disrespecting her memory? If a child dies do parents "replace" them? But the emptiness is crushing me. I feel like I am not going to make it through this. Does anyone have any advice to offer?

[moon_beam]

Hi, Galandria, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Missy. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company.

Galandria, usually heat stroke happens quite suddenly. So, your precious Missy may very well have not been exhibiting any symptoms when you left for work in the morning, which means there was nothing to be done for her. Even providing her cool shade (if she were outside) and water would be the standard protocols for helping to prevent heat stroke. Beyond that would be to keep a moment to moment vigil, and your precious Missy knew that you couldn't do that.

You ask if you should have to suffer for what happened to Missy. The answer to that is NO, DEFINITELY NOT. Will a part of you always hurt for what happened to Missy? Probably yes, because you love her with all your heart and would have moved heaven and earth to prevent any harm from happening to her, which is impossible because we are merely humans - - we are not infallable. Does this mean that you should be deprived of another precious companion to love? Absolutely NOT, for this means that a homeless waif would be deprived of the love that only YOU can give, and Missy would not want that to happen.

Should you and your husband adopt another companion immediately? As the other wonderful responders have already shared, this is a very personal decision - - one that only you and your husband can make. Whatever the circumstances are that led to Missy's heat stroke, there's only one factor involved in that - - that she was exposed in some form or fashion to a heat source, and I would presume that this was a weather-related situation. Galandria, we can only do the best we can with the knowledge that we have and with the circumstances at that particular time. One of the hardest things to accept is that there are situations that arise that we have absolutely no control over and that we would never have expected to happen in a million years. When we are confronted with these types of situations, it brings us to a "reality check" of just how little "control" we actually have over what happens.

From these situations the only thing we can do is learn whatever "lessons" we can so that we can try - - and the emphasis is on the word TRY - - to prevent the same thing from happening again. Unfortunately, our "wisdom" comes from hind sight, Galandria, for we are not blessed with the gift of foreknowledge.

With this new found "widsom" then, Galandria, you DO deserve a second chance - - you DO deserve another precious companion to love and take care of. Right now, though, your heart needs to heal from this tragedy so that YOU will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you DO deserve another precious companion.

Again, Galandria, I am so sorry for your loss of Missy. Please know that she loves you for taking care of her and giving her a loving home to live in during her journey with you on this side of eternity. Please know you are never alone in your grief journey - - we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Galandria, and please let us know how you're doing. And please know we are here to share in your joy of your new companion, too - - whenever YOU are ready to embrace a new life in your heart and home.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam