I Am So Ashamed, For scolding my Snookie Options

[Ann H]

I do not know what is wrong with me these past couple of weeks. I took Snookie with me in the car just like I almost always do and for the 1st time in her almost 11 years she went pee pee in my car seat.

I had only been in the store for around 15 minutes. When I came out and sit in it I raised my voice to her and said Snookie Lynn how could you do such a thing in my car and in my seat no less.

She hung her head and did not look at me the rest of the way home and I felt so ashamed for chewing her out. I know Snookie has to go to the bathroom a lot more in the past couple of weeks and I know she can't help it.

It seems she wants out every half hour or so and we have had some pretty cold wind chills and I have been unhappy having to go out with her so often. Snookie gets up at all hours of the night she barks and wakes me out of a sound sleep.

I fear the end might be closer than I want to realize. So why I am getting upset with her when nothing she has ever done has upset me? I feel like such a creep these days, my husband says it's the stress of losing Chili Bean so suddenly and the scare over Amber and the worry over Snookie.

Maybe so but it seems I would never get mad and raise my voice to my darling baby girl knowing that she could die anytime. I am wondering what has happened to me lately I am always so calm and tender towards animals and humans alike. I do not like myself very much these last couple of weeks.

The worst came when she got in bed with me when I was half asleep and I pushed her away and asked if she had been in the cat box as her breath stunk so bad. I told her pew how could you have done that you never do that rotten deed.

Later when I got up I saw she had threw up and had it all over the front of her. My God she needed comfort and I pushed her away.

I have never been more ashamed of myself in all my life. I can't understand what in the world is wrong with me and I am ashamed to tell you all about it but I feel so guilty I couldn't keep it in any longer.
Ann

[deedee]

Kristie's experience echoes mine. Oswald had had diabetes, and started to suffer kidney failure. I was always cleaning up after he peed in the wrong places. I put a catbox upstairs and surrounded it with plastic bags, but he would sometimes go in the box, lift his butt out the end, and pee on the floor. He also had one rug he liked to "go" on. I spent a lot of time trying to clean the rug. One day, he wandered into the livingroom and squatted, starting to pee on this rug. I screamed at him. I rolled up a newspaper and started banging it on the floor next to him. I was angry. I was upset. He had kidney failure and couldn't help it, but I yelled at him anyway. My rug was ruined - I ended up throwing it out.

I knew the day was coming close when that trip to the vet would have to be made. Yet I yelled at him. Poor, poor boy. I feel guilty about doing that, too. I wish I could take it back, but it is un-doable.

dee dee