My Wonderful Jesse Options

[MissMyJesse]

Hi everyone,

Today has been 3 months since I lost my beautiful cat Jesse. I have been coming to this forum since then and even though I have never posted I have found your kind words to others in my heart. I have tried to post several times and would cry so hard that I couldn't finish. I loved my cat so much. I had him for 9 1/2 years, and he was so wonderful. The day I lost him you see was my fault and oh the pain and guilt I felt. It was Labor day, and the breeze was blowing and it was warm outside. The perfect kind of day that I could see My Jesse on our front porch just lounging (which he was good at, ha). I was leaving for work and since Jesse had been out that night, my first thought was to call him so he could come inside. When all of a sudden I felt a warm breeze and said, oh I'm not going to call him, I know he is out enjoying this weather (saying that with a smile on my face, thinking about him). Well, I go to start my car, and to this day I will never understand what he was doing laying inside the motor area in the summer (b/c I always tapped the brakes in the winter, knowing they get there to get out of the cold). But anyway, I'm sure you can figure out the rest of the story w/o me going over the details.

There is not a day that doesn't go by that I don't think of My sweet Jesse and miss him. He was so beautiful, and a faithful companion. Only a week ago I could start eating cereal without crying. I always shared my cereal and milk with him. He would sit at my feet waiting, and if I would take too long to finish my part he would start taking his big paws and try to reach the bowl. Then the other day, I was decorating for Christmas when I opened up a box and on the top was Jesse's stocking. It just didn't feel right not hanging it, but I know that he will have a wonderful Christmas in Heaven.

Sorry this is so long. The guilt is still there and everyday I tell my baby how sorry I am and that mama would have never meant to hurt him. I'm sorry Jesse......
Mama loves you!

Sandy

PS...Thank you Denise! This is a GREAT forum. The support I have received here (not knowing to anyone b/c I never posted) is unmeasurable. Thanks again.

[Pamela]

Oh Honey, that is awful, truely awful. I have had the same experience you have, not with one of my own precious furbabies but a neighbors, it is truely an awful experience. I came here feeling guilty, what happened to My Moose was an ACCIDENT people here have helped me to see that. I had never really absorbed the meaning of an ACCIDENT until Moose. I wish I would have done a few things differently that evening but we just dont expect these things to happen to us and when they do it is tough to come to the point that you realize it wasnt your fault, it was just another day for you going to work. I know the pain you must be going through and I know it hurts so so much. Hang in there and keep posting, I PROMISE it will help you make it through this, it is only because of the people here tht I have made it this far..moment to moment,hour to hour, day to day. Pamela