IPB

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

 Forum Rules Site Rules and Courtesies
> I Am Devastated And Feeling So Guilty
mfazz
post Aug 6 2010, 06:51 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 8
Joined: 6-August 10
Member No.: 6,633



My 16 year old cat died last night. He died lying right next to me, with his paw on my thigh. I watched as he took his last breath.

I can't stop crying, can't stop thinking about him. I can't believe that he is gone.

Scooter was just the best, such a personality and spirit. I found him on the street when I was in grad school and took him in with me. He was such a love. He was also extremely vocal - he meowed ALL the time, any time of the day or night. He loved to sit in front of me when I was talking to someone and meow in my face in order to block the conversation. He also loved to cuddle and drool all over me.

For a few years, it was just me and him, then came my husband. When my daughter was born I was overwhelmed (she was colicky), and for that first year, I hate to say that I barely acknowledged him except to feed him. After that year, things of course were more settled and I could spend more time with him.

But even after that.....

there were many days when I felt like he did not get attention. There were days that he was pushed out of the way. There were days when I pushed him off of the dining room table and yelled at him. There were days that I wished I did not have to deal with his litter, especially when he began urinating all the time. There were a few tiring days when he peed on my luggage or clothes and I actually thought about how easy it would be when he was gone. He could no longer sleep with us because he would meow all night and keep us awake, so we put a gate up to keep him out.

I know that along with these bad times came loads and loads of great days. Days where he was loved and held and spoiled rotten. Days of sitting outside on the hammock with him and reading. Hours of petting his belly. So much love. But all I can think about are the times where I let him down or ignored him.

Sorry for the length of this. I needed to say these things. I am living with so much guilt over the times I failed him that it is blocking all the rest.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

Posts in this topic
- mfazz   I Am Devastated And Feeling So Guilty   Aug 6 2010, 06:51 PM
- - Cheryl83   Hi, I am so very sorry for the loss of your belov...   Aug 6 2010, 07:03 PM
|- - wchamilton   QUOTE (Cheryl83 @ Aug 6 2010, 08:03 PM) H...   Aug 6 2010, 07:10 PM
- - sad   I'm so very sorry for your loss of your belove...   Aug 6 2010, 07:39 PM
- - mfazz   Thank you everyone so much for such wonderful supp...   Aug 6 2010, 07:59 PM
- - moon_beam   Hi, mfazz, please permit me to add my sincerest sy...   Aug 7 2010, 01:04 PM
- - BudTheCat   mfazz, I am so sorry to hear about your cat. We h...   Aug 7 2010, 03:39 PM
- - ladywolf   Mfazz-- I too am so, so sorry to hear about Scoot...   Aug 7 2010, 04:04 PM
- - mfazz   Thank you so much. I cannot express how much comf...   Aug 7 2010, 04:37 PM
- - BudTheCat   mfazz, I suffer from severe anxiety and depression...   Aug 7 2010, 05:44 PM
- - ladywolf   Mfazz and Bud the Cat--I too am prone to severe de...   Aug 7 2010, 06:57 PM
- - moon_beam   Hi, Mfazz, I am so o o o o glad your husband helpe...   Aug 8 2010, 09:07 AM
- - mfazz   Thank you Moon Beam - the support on here is so wo...   Aug 8 2010, 10:30 AM
- - moon_beam   Hi, mfazz, our furkids know they are loved, and th...   Aug 8 2010, 01:07 PM
|- - mfazz   I hope he still hears me moon_beam because I have ...   Aug 10 2010, 03:05 PM
- - moon_beam   Hi, mfazz, one thing I have learned in my journey ...   Aug 10 2010, 04:48 PM
- - mfazz   I buried my Scooter today. I was able to see him ...   Aug 11 2010, 04:47 PM
- - Baden   Hi mfazz, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. ...   Aug 11 2010, 07:52 PM
- - moon_beam   Hi, mfazz, I'm so glad to know that your preci...   Aug 12 2010, 12:52 PM


Reply to this topicStart new topic

 



Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 24th July 2025 - 02:38 AM