New To This Pain Options

[catmomof4]

Hi Everyone,

Tomorrow marks the 3 week anniversary of my sweet little boy's departure from my world. He was only 8 years and suffered from diabetes. I found out he was diabetic over a year ago and it has been the most frustrating and heartbreaking year of my life. Test after test, poke after poke, different insulins, different doses, and mass amounts of money. It is the most difficult decision I have yet to make in my 44 years on earth, and one that will never be easily forgotten. Nothing can compare to the heartbreak of losing my precious Habibi.

Although I know I did the best thing for him, I have never felt guilt like this and I never thought I could feel such pain and grief. I have not cried, but sobbed everyday since July 8. Although I have 3 more beautiful and wonderfully loving cats with me, the loss of my Beloved is more than I can bear.

I am planning a memorial spot in the front of my house, where I will create a garden just for him. It will have the brightest orange flowers I can find (he was an orange tabby) and I should be recieving his memorial stone on Friday. He was my baby boy and I will never forget the unconditional love he gave me for 8 years. I miss my baby boy but I know I will see him standing at the Gates of Heaven waiting for me.

I am hoping that the pain eases and the guilt subsides...God knows I did all I could for him, but it just wasn't enough.

"If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever"

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this. You do so in memory of my Baby Boy - Habibi Lee.

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[John S]

I am so sorry for the loss of your Habibi, he was a beautiful boy. I lost my beloved cat Nikita seven weeks ago and it still hurts so much. The pain and guilt are common and they will ease with time. The memorial garden is a great idea; living plants are always a good trbute to a lost loved one. I also want to plant a flower for my Nik, a tiger lily because that was one of my nick names for her "my Tiger Lily". The grief can see unbearable but you are not alone. This site is such a wonderful place to share and seek sympathy and support. I'll pray or you, my heart goes out to you. Again I am so sorry.

John