Goodbye My Sweet Buddy. Options

[Rex's Mamma]

Hi,
I am so thankfull to have found somewhere to share my feelings and sorrow tonight. First I am so sorry for everyones losses. My buddy Rex was 11 years old. I did not choose Rex or his name, a friend gave him to me and for some reason I let my father name him. When I got him home he fit in the kitchen sink (he weighed 75 pounds later). Rex never chewed anyting that did not belong to him and he did not know his name or what "come here" meant if he got out of the yard instead he would run as fast as he could while I drove in the car near him and I swear he laughed and smiled the whole time. We had some tough times and battled undiagnosed mange, allergies, enough ear infections for 10 dogs and in the last 9 months Cushings disease. Rex was mister mellow and the only time he barked was when someone got to close to his yard or it thundered (standing in the bark yard looking at the sky). He was my protector my foot warmer my companion and my best friend, he had a watch hidden somewhere and knew when it was 8:30 pm and that it was snack time (he also got the cat a watch). In eleven years I have not slept one night in my bed with out him laying stretched out next to me or across my legs. Tonight he wont be there. This monrning I woke at 5AM to find a very sick dog. Rex was having trouble standing and looked so sad and miserable, I called my vet who saw him and they gave him fluids and antibiotics as he had a really high fever. At 2:00 pm the vet called to tell me that he was pretty sure Rex had a UTI and that he looked a little better. I was so thankfull and went to pick him up at 5:30. When I got there my sweet buddy could hardly walk and collapsed at my feet when he got to me, he was panting and not very alert, the vet said he had looked at his xrays again and was not sure if it was an abcess or tumor near his bladder but he felt that my buddy was now not going to be able to pull out of this. I stared and my buddy and talked to him and realized that I wanted him to stay for me, but that he was already a little gone because my buddy would have stood as soon as I did and when I sat on the floor to love on him wold have tried to get me to stand up. So as a I cried and doubted and questioned every deciscion for the last 16 hours I petted my buddy and told him how sorry I am and how much I love him and that despite what I may say the third time I have to get up every night to let him out to pee he was truly my best boy and I hope he knows I would pick him everytime even now knowing how hard it is to not have him here with me. If you have read this thank you so much. Love you buddy, you are mommas best boy and I am so sorry.

[tahoeden]

Dear Rex's Mama,

What a devastating loss. Everyone whom posted before me, to your loss, also helped support me and have continued to accept my pain of losing my Kota (16 years together), just over two months ago. What you said about Rex being sprawled across your legs, your constant companion for all those years, really hit a nerve. Years ago, in the middle of winter, when it was snowing out, Kota would be on my bed, and I would go to sleep with my hand on her, thanking her for being there. I hope that Rex wasn't sick for a long time and that your decision (made out of courage, love and acceptance) was able to me made pretty quickly after seeing the condition he was in.

I don't know if you are alone or have a family, either way, this site can be an accepting family for you. Many people...friends, coworkers, relatives...can be helpful and supportive but not unconditionally understanding of the depth of the loss that you are now going through. I'm glad you have a job to go to, to get out of the house, though I know that coming home and still expecting to see and hear Rex, is a daily heartbreaking moment. My prayers and thoughts are with you and Rex.

Dennis