I Lost My Friend Options

[sapphireluna]

Reading your posts has helped me feel better. Please hear my story.

My lovely cat Majestée passed away last night at the vet's. She had stopped eating, her liver was bad and treatment would've been very expensive with no telling if she'd properly recover. She was almost 16. Her birthday was in 3 weeks. This is the first time I had a pet die on me, (other than a hamster or turtle.)In fact, I've never had someone this close to me die at all, humans included. I knew she had to die eventually. She was getting old. But it's just so hard.

Please tell me, how did you survive through this? This is unreal. I have never cried so hard in my life. I cried so much that I ran out of tears. I was scared I was going to hyperventilate. This morning I am still crying. She wasn't there when I woke up. She wasn't there to ask for food. She won't be there to greet me when I come home. I can't imagine her not being there. She was sleeping on my bed just yesterday. She was sitting on that chair. She was lying down on that balcony. She was sitting in that corner right there. Now she's not. Not there. She's not there. This can't be true. She has been with me through everything for the past 16 years. I have lived more than half my life with her. I can't imaging anything else. I won't be hearing her funny-sounding meowing anymore. Her purring. She won't lick my hand anymore. It hurts so much, what do I do?

She's going to be incinerated along with other cats. It happened so fast. I wanted to keep her ashes but it's too late now. I don't even know what the vet does with the ashes.

I always thought I wanted to have more cats, but why have them when it's so painful when they leave? I still have another kitty with me. Now I'm scared for when he will leave me too. I have to go back to work on Monday. I don't know if I can. I feel so alone. Please help me.

Here are pictures
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v395/sap...luna/Cat/4b.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v395/sap...luna/Cat/m2.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v395/sap...luna/Cat/m3.jpg

[moon_beam]

Hi, Sapphireluna, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Majestée. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. And it doesn't matter if it's our first loss or our thousandth - - the grief journey is still painful - - both physically and emotionally.

How do you get through this grief journey? One day at a time, Sapphireluna - - sometimes one moment at a time, particularly in the early grief journey when we are in the deepest, darkest part of the journey. Unfortunately our society in general does not accept the reality that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is identical to the loss of a human family member or friend. In fact, clinical professionals are now recognizing that the physical loss of a beloved companion can be more devastating because - - our beloved companions offer to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them without reservation. The human/beloved companion bond is deeper than the human/human bond. This is one of the many reasons why the physical loss of a beloved companion is both physically and emotionally painful.

The goal of the grief journey is to try to find a peace in your heart and mind that will help you to be able to continue your journey on this side of eternity that will honor the new relationship that you have with your beloved companion - -for your relationship with Majestée has just temporarily changed to a different dimension. Her sweet Living Spirit is still forever with you in your heart and memories, and she is still very much a part of your life as she always has been and always will be. Physical separation does not diminish the love that you shared during your journey together on this side of eternity. The love you share now is no longer dependent on the restrictive laws of time and space that we are physically confined to on this side of eternity. But it takes time to adjust to the physical loss of our beloved companions, and unfortunatley, this is a very painful, and bitter, process of the grief journey.

Sapphireluna, you are so right - - you are not alone in your grief journey, and this is one of the many important things for you to hold onto. This grief journey has so many highs and lows, twists and turns, ups and downs and turnarounds - - sometimes all at once in one day at different times during the day. Margi has given you some very good advice, along with the others. I know what it's like to go to work after a loss, but that doesn't stop the wave of emotions from bubbling up and running over. Thank goodness for the restroom where you can go to release some of the emotions privately so that you can go back to your desk to continue your job - - whatever your job may be - -. And then for me, in addition to the restroom, there were the drives to and from work tears streaming down my face with gut wrenching sobbing. Coming home can be as painful even when there are other beloved companions still in the household, for the entire dynamics of the family unit have changed - - because you, the other furkids, as well as the structure of the home know that someone very important is physically missing. It is important for you to release the grief you are feeling, for the tears you shed are healing tears - - they literally release the toxins that build up in your body from the stress of grieving. Some folks think that if they suppress their grief that it will help them not to feel so sad, but what they are actually doing is more harmful for those emotions will eventually surface and can be more painful both physically and emotionally to deal with whenever and however they are experienced.

Sapphireluna, thank you so much for sharing with us your precious Majestée. You truly did the best for her by releasing her from her physically failing body so that she can be healed and restored to her former healthy body in the company of angels, even though it is at a great sacrifice to you. That is what love is - - that is what a GREAT love is - - putting the need of another before ourselves even when it means that our hearts will be shattered with deep sorrow.

Sapphireluna, I hope in some way what I have shared with you will be of some comfort to you. Right now there are no adequate words that can take away the deep sorrow you are feeling. But please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam