It Seems To Me That I Want, My HEALTHY wolf back! Options

[ladywolf]

I'm just sitting here pondering the nature of the grieving process, and it has occurred to me that it seems to be true for a lot of us that what we are missing so much and longing for are our young, healthy, energetic, joyful pets--not our old, ailing, pain-ridden, somewhat miserable pets. Not that we don't love them right up until the last minute, and then beyond--but I know that I wouldn't particularly have wanted poor old Ladywolf, with her heavy tumors and diabetes, to have lived a whole lot longer. She couldn't walk very well, she was uncomfortable, she knew that she was compromised and couldn't do what she used to--she was happy to be in my presence, and I her's, but her quality of life had definitely deteriorated, and she was ready to go when she did.

So I, and perhaps a lot of us, are really longing for the "old" fur-kid--the one who didn't have pain and limitations. That's why it's SO painful when a life gets cut short suddenly--it's a major trauma that can cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Happy, bouncing, joyful animal here one minute and gone the next...

When I want Lady back, I want the Ladywolf who was somewhere between three (when I met her) and thirteen--the companion who could do anything that we wanted to do, and with enthusiasm and great energy. So I'm yearning for the impossible! THAT Lady left me about two years ago...

Just a observation--not all of you may agree, but it's something to think about...

Big Hugs to everyone--

Margi and Spiritwolf

[ladywolf]

I'm doing better today--am glad that that anniversary has passed now--it seems like the most important one, just for me personally. (I know that your experience has been different, Dennis...)

But I feel liberated today from some of the sadness. It helped to find out that I may have another editorial job coming in in time to pay the electric bill, so I maybe won't have to live in the darkness. That I was NOT looking forward to. Really, I just have to somehow get through the summer without much work, and then in the fall I should be marginally okay again. This summer sucks. Last year, I was teaching children's art at this time; this year, there's nothing.

I've read Charles Bukowski, but it's been a long time. Is he worth re-reading again?

Thanks for everyone's support during the sad and the glad times!

Big Hugs from Margi and Spiritwolf