It Seems To Me That I Want, My HEALTHY wolf back! Options

[ladywolf]

I'm just sitting here pondering the nature of the grieving process, and it has occurred to me that it seems to be true for a lot of us that what we are missing so much and longing for are our young, healthy, energetic, joyful pets--not our old, ailing, pain-ridden, somewhat miserable pets. Not that we don't love them right up until the last minute, and then beyond--but I know that I wouldn't particularly have wanted poor old Ladywolf, with her heavy tumors and diabetes, to have lived a whole lot longer. She couldn't walk very well, she was uncomfortable, she knew that she was compromised and couldn't do what she used to--she was happy to be in my presence, and I her's, but her quality of life had definitely deteriorated, and she was ready to go when she did.

So I, and perhaps a lot of us, are really longing for the "old" fur-kid--the one who didn't have pain and limitations. That's why it's SO painful when a life gets cut short suddenly--it's a major trauma that can cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Happy, bouncing, joyful animal here one minute and gone the next...

When I want Lady back, I want the Ladywolf who was somewhere between three (when I met her) and thirteen--the companion who could do anything that we wanted to do, and with enthusiasm and great energy. So I'm yearning for the impossible! THAT Lady left me about two years ago...

Just a observation--not all of you may agree, but it's something to think about...

Big Hugs to everyone--

Margi and Spiritwolf

[moon_beam]

Hi, Margi, I absolutely agree with you about this observation. I came to this realization a few years ago, too. In my younger years immediately following the physical death of one of my furkids my gut-wrenching grief desperately wanted them back. But as I have gotten older I have come to understand that to have them back would mean that they would still be trapped in their painful ill-stricken physical bodies with no quality of life.

Of course this intellectual understanding doesn't take off the painful edge of the physical loss of any and all of my beloved companions. The grief journey is still very hard, particularly in the beginning, and my life and heart are still empty without the blessing of their sweet physical presence, but I better understand in my heart of hearts that my precious furkids are much better off in heaven's perfect garden where they are once again restored to their youthfulness - - never again having to endure the effects of an aging ill-stricken physical body. And that's why I do the memorials - - so that I can focus on their lives BEFORE their bodies were burdened with the effects of irreversible age and illness. And I know this is how they want to be remembered - - when they were able to enjoy both quality and quantity of life during their journey with me on this side of eternity. With this I can hope for the time, my appropriate time, when I can join them in heaven's perfect garden where there is no grief or pain.

Thank you so much, Margi, for sharing your observations. I'm also glad that things have quieted down a bit for you around the homestead. You are frequently in my thoughts and prayers throughout the day, Margi. I do so hope that life will begin to be kinder and gentler for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam