Alone Options

[Kayelle]

Hi.

My beautiful puppy-like kitten-like cat collapsed on Saturday night after a long battle with his too big heart. I drove him to the vet, hoping they could help us. When we arrived my pusscat just lay down on the table. I had no choice but to stop his suffering. Knowing that, however, does nothing to alter the fact that I miss him so very much.

Not even a week has gone by and now people are telling me (out of concern for me, I know) to get on with things and that's life and it was all for the best, why don't I just try get on with life and try to put it to the back of my mind? He was my baby boy...

I'm so angry at them for not understanding how deep the pain runs. About why I hate to go home, why I don't want to pretend everything's fine, about how I really do want to stop all the clocks.

I know the pain will lessen, and I'll eventually remember him with joy, as he deserves. For the moment, why can they not just let me be?

xx

[Kayelle]

Vicki thank you. I too, cry all the way to the door because I know he won't greet me. He used to share my life - insisted on sitting on the side of the bath when I took one, would try and sit on my lap if I went to the toilet! All those silly things we take for granted - and now it's gone. I tried to make the bed and couldn't (I could only remember Jana 'helping' by climbing into the quilt cover). I can't bear to switch the bathroom tap fully off yet (he refused to drink out of anything as unsavoury as a bowl - liked it 'fresh'). I can't bear to give him all up at once. At night, I wish him goodnight still, and for the first moment when I wake up, I forget he's not there.

I'm trying to think of something to do in his honour. He was a house cat - I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any thoughts?


K