Losing My Beloved Misha Options

[MishasMom]

I'm so glad I found this forum. On Saturday I had to put my beloved Ragdoll Misha to sleep. It was the hardest decision to make. She was 15 years old. Last year she had been diagnosed with beggining stages of kidney failure. Last week she just started acting like she wasn't happy anymore. She was still eating but sleeping a lot. She also would be sitting there having trouble breathing. On Friday night she didn't want to be bothered at all. Didn't want me touching her, or cuddling, or any kind of interaction with me. During last week she bit me once or twice for no real reason. She had never done that before. I had this feeling she was telling me that she was done. She didn't enjoy life.

I took her into the vet Saturday morning. After talking to the vet he thought that she could of possibly had a stroke or seizures. There was also a chance that she could have a brain tumor. I asked if she was in any physical pain and he said no. I'm not sure if I believed that she had lost most of her muscle mass and I'm sure her little hips were rubbing up against bone. I just kept thinking we will be back in this same spot either ten days or a few months. What kind of quality of life would she have in that time. I feel that we don't just have an obligation to their physical pain but also their mental pain. So I made the decision I thought was best for her. She went quickly thank God. I did second guess myself the next day. I think that is normal. I do have a peace about it now. I believe we will see them again one day in heaven with our heavenly Father.

The hardest part for me is coming home to an empty apartment. I live alone and it is so lonely in my bed at night. For 30 years I have only had 4 months without a companion cat. I know I want to get another one just want the right timing.

Sorry for rambling on. My friends are getting tired of hearing about "it".

[tanbuck]

Hi MishasMom. I'm so very sorry you lost your sweet Misha. I know what you mean about the quiet in your apartment. Even though I'm married and have(had) other pets in the house, our home seemed eerily quiet after our first cat, Frasier, died last August. And it got quiet again when his brother, Niles, died in March. We were then down to just one pet, our dog Buck, who is probably nearing his end soon due to kidney failure.
All those routines we're so used to can be the most painful things! Like your Misha waking you up for food. Niles used to pull my hair in the middle of the night and Frasier would rattle the blinds. How do they know what to do to "pester" us? I'll never know but I'd give anything to have it back!
Come here and ramble all you want. We don't ever get tired of hearing about "it". Because we battle our "it" every day too. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry that you're alone right now. My thoughts are with you.
-Donna