Losing My Beloved Misha Options

[MishasMom]

I'm so glad I found this forum. On Saturday I had to put my beloved Ragdoll Misha to sleep. It was the hardest decision to make. She was 15 years old. Last year she had been diagnosed with beggining stages of kidney failure. Last week she just started acting like she wasn't happy anymore. She was still eating but sleeping a lot. She also would be sitting there having trouble breathing. On Friday night she didn't want to be bothered at all. Didn't want me touching her, or cuddling, or any kind of interaction with me. During last week she bit me once or twice for no real reason. She had never done that before. I had this feeling she was telling me that she was done. She didn't enjoy life.

I took her into the vet Saturday morning. After talking to the vet he thought that she could of possibly had a stroke or seizures. There was also a chance that she could have a brain tumor. I asked if she was in any physical pain and he said no. I'm not sure if I believed that she had lost most of her muscle mass and I'm sure her little hips were rubbing up against bone. I just kept thinking we will be back in this same spot either ten days or a few months. What kind of quality of life would she have in that time. I feel that we don't just have an obligation to their physical pain but also their mental pain. So I made the decision I thought was best for her. She went quickly thank God. I did second guess myself the next day. I think that is normal. I do have a peace about it now. I believe we will see them again one day in heaven with our heavenly Father.

The hardest part for me is coming home to an empty apartment. I live alone and it is so lonely in my bed at night. For 30 years I have only had 4 months without a companion cat. I know I want to get another one just want the right timing.

Sorry for rambling on. My friends are getting tired of hearing about "it".

[patricia]

dear mishas mom.
i am so very sorry for your loss. i was a very active participant on this site having lost my little sweet kitty fred to complications of diabetes. his one year anniversary was not too long ago. i quit responding to everyone because i realized i was not done grieving. one year later, im still not done and it hurts so so much to relive the loss. but your story really touched my heart, especially the part where you said you know one day you will see her again in heaven with our heavenly father. i know that to be true as well. that is what i hold on to everyday. because everyday i cry for my fred. the only thing that i can tell you is that time will heal your broken heart. today as i write this, i am not shedding as many tears as i used to. but please know that your little misha is home now. back where she belongs. i believe that our father above, lends us these wonderful creatures to teach us a little something about love, tolerance, patience and so much more and when they are done teaching, they join the big professor in the sky and He welcomes them home with plenty of hugs and kisses.
i know how you feel, coming home to an empty apartment. my little fred would poke his head around the corner to make sure it was me and when he was sure he would come out and we would proceed to have our "evening conversation". it is truly hard, i know. we all know. but know that you are not alone. you are in my thoughts and prayers. and when the time is right and new little kitty will adopt you. he or she will never replace your sweet misha but will bring new memories, and the smiles will all come back.
keep writing the pain away. we are here to listen.
patricia