How Do You Stop Crying?, Recent Loss Options

[Countrygirl]

I am Tina,
I was fortunate enough to speng 8 short years with my best pal BooBear. The very first night I took him home, (he had been abbandoned on a vets door) he fell right to sleep on my chest. Anytime I was upset he was there. He would greet me at the door everyday. He had to be put to sleep.

He had diabetes for one but lost control of his bowels and bladder so I believe there was more they had not found. The last day he kept hidding under the sofa something he would never do....just to nosey. When I would hold he he would latch on like he was off balance. I went to brush he with the softest brush and even that seemed to cause him pain. I made the decision but I can't sto[ second guessing myself and I can't stop crying. I come home to an empty house and an even emptier heart. I never thought it could hurt this much. I used yo yell him we would grow old together. That didn't happen and now it is just so hard. I was glad when I found this site, even though my family grieves with me they really can't feel the everyday loss. Thanks for letting me pour out my heart...I don't know what else to do with it.

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[ladywolf]

Tina--

Thank you so much for sharing your dream experience. It sounds like it was horrible and wonderful all at the same time. Yes, most second-guessing doesn't take into account that our furkids ARE getting sicker, and are in a catastrophic decline already anyway, and are probably going to go out in some terrible way if we don't assist them. My dog Poppers got very ill the night before she died. Without going into gory details, it was obvious to me that she was going to need to be helped the next day if she didn't die on her own, and then she DID die on her own in the very early morning, without assistance. But I sure wouldn't have wanted either her or me to have to endure more of what she was undergoing at the time of her death.

We tend to think about them when they were HEALTHY when we wish we had had more time with them, but that's distorted thinking. For example, I want the HEALTHY Ladywolf back right now, and I am never going to have her again. So we have to make the best of our situation. She and I will never take another walk together again, that is clear. But she is still comfortable most of the time, still eating, still perky--just weighted down by these awful TUMORS that will never go away. Ladywolf is an old, sick Wolf, but I still love her madly and always will...

Thanks again for sharing. I am glad that you had that dream--it should erase any doubts you were holding that you did the right thing for your beloved BooBear, and at the right time.

Be gentle on yourself and take good care.

Big hugs from Margi and the Wolf