Do Finders Have To Be Keepers?, Not bonding with Sable Options

[Mink&WillowsMom]

I started this on Found a Kitty, but since it really opens up a whole new aspect, I'm starting a new topic here. Admin: you can move this to New Beginnings if it feels like a better fit, but the guts of my concern centers on having found a lost cat, not choosing a new beginning with one. Folks on this thread have been following Sable's tale, so I'd like them to be able to find this post and help me through it.

*** Okay, I'm taking a cue from the gent who wrote "Confession" (see Death and Dying), and Paris' reluctant disclosure about Bennett.

I've been struggling with feelings of not wanting Sable in my home.

Luna, Rohan, and Willow all guardedly walk past her, because she stares them down and lashes out sometimes. The warily pass by, tense and back stiff. There haven't been a lot of fistfights, but the honeymoon is definitely over, and sometimes Sable chases them, especially Luna, with lots of hissing and spitting. (Usually on Luna's part.)

Sable's kidneys are "weak." The doc says it's not kidney failure, but suggested I put her on the special NF diet as a protective measure. I'm just not willing to do that -- I've tried it with other cats and they all hate it. And with four, there'd be no way to switch just hers. I may as well just throw the money in the trash, because that's where all the food ends up. I'm willing to try other dietary changes, but not NF. She goes through an ungodly amount of kitty litter -- she pees as much as the other three combined. I'm awash in litter granules.

After years of caring for failing, elderly kitties, it was a joy to adopt new kittens. Willow, Rohan, and Luna are all abundantly healthy. What a relief of have a healthy, robust home. And after caring for my elderly, ailing father, and then to have been released from that when he died, I am SO unwilling to step back to caring for something in ill health. It's a stress that wears on me heavily. She doesn't groom herself well, she looks all rumply and unkempt. She's docile, and her mood is even, and purrs, and occasionally tries to play, but she's not robust. She now weighs 9 lbs, 1 oz (up from 5-10 when I found her).

But how can I ask someone else to adopt a health-compromised animal? I feel stuck with her. Maybe, with more time, she'll bond with some of us, but it hasn't happened yet. The local Kitten Rescue is just about to launch into kitten season, and if I insisted they take her, I think I'd ruin my goodwill with them (I used to volunteer there). One option, is they might be willing to advertise her on the website, as long as I continue to foster her.

I just feel like I'm a bad mom, and being selfish for wanting a home of harmony and health, needy kitties need not apply. Kimberly

[Mink&WillowsMom]

Another happy update. She regularly sleeps near my pillow, so I often wake to the gentle sound of her purring. Yesterday she walked up, and knowing i was awake, she tapped me on the arm to pet her. First time. --In the 27 months since I rescued her. Another new thing, twice now she's gone under the covers, and snuggled up against my belly for a while. Since she's stopped swiping at the other cats, a couple times now I've held her up to Rohan, who licked her head. This is the first time she's let them touch her. Rohan, the lover-kitty of the bunch is eager to snuggle her and groom her, so this is another huge step. I'm so glad she's here, she SO deserves a loving home. ~Kim

[Mink&WillowsMom]

SHE MEOWED! Last night she meowed for the first time in 2-1/2 years! When I first found her, she talked and talked and talked this cute little purr-y meow, for about 4 days. Then, apparently she'd said everything she needed to, and I haven't heard a peep out of her. Until yesterday. Lately I've been lifting her into higher places (she was thrilled to discover the baskets sitting on top of the cabinets), since she's patient and will wait until I bring her back down. Yesterday she was sitting in a towel closet, Rohan was gazing up at her ("me too, mommy!"), and she meowed.

Rohan has started to chin rub, "ankle polish" flirt with her, and she's letting him. She's been nose-to-nose with him a lot lately, even licked his head once. And she's started coughing up hairballs, so she's been grooming herself more. I'm stepping up the hair brushing, a minute at a time. She has the weirdest fur of any cat I've ever met. The undercoat rolls into rasta dreads, and once I gently tease it apart, the loose fur is like velcro -- can't shake it off my hands or the comb. Everytime I drive past the spot on the freeway where I found her, it's so clear she was fated to come home with me. She's a sweetheart and I love her. We have bonded. Zahalu.